Please Help me convince myself that I shouldn’t reach out to my cheating ex.

groomsmen123 · 2019-09-14T16:32:18+00:00

Stick with no contact. She'll never give you the real reason why she cheated. All that matters is that she did and you can't look back.

My first love cheated on me for months and left me for this person, moved in with them, and never once apologized or gave me a reason. She reached out after 13 months of no contact saying I should visit her at work. No apology, no guilt, just selfish.

When she cheats, that relationship is over. You'll never forget, you'll never know why, just work on yourself, keep busy, don't reflect on the positive memories, and you'll be fine in time. Took me over a year truly to get over my ex, but I realized it's her loss and I'll let her regret that for the rest of her life.

0x9A30D7C49714D98000 · 2019-09-14T17:47:15+00:00

Your wounds are still fresh, if this all went down just four weeks ago u are still healing. Clearly this came as a surprise to u and u r still coming to terms with it.

First of all, like the other commenter said, ur assuming u are going to get an honest answer from a person who has just betrayed u in one of the most visceral and embarrassing ways another human can. It's reasonable to question everything she has said or ever will say to u again, so no matter what she tells you, u will never know if it's really the truth.

Second, and perhaps more importantly, it changes nothing. U sound like an intelligent guy, u can read the sidebar and take a good guess at the reasons she cheated - she got bored of u, she got horny, she found a better option etc. (Relating to my first point, note that none of these are particularly flattering reasons that most women would ever want to admit to their closest friends or perhaps even themselves). No matter why she cheated the outcomes for u are the same. U pick up the pieces of ur shattered ego, take a handful of hard-to-swallow pills, and hopefully learn from the experience so u don't repeat it.

Third, and on that point, despite what u think u r not in the best position where u can begin to learn from it yet. Even if u could talk to an all-knowing god who could tell u exactly why this all went down the way it did, u r still not ready to be able to process that without a cloud of emotions like pain and embarrassment and anger, but that cloud will eventually pass completely and it sounds like the worst of it already has.

It's like u have been in a car wreck and ur ears are still ringing as you stagger away from the carnage. Someone says it was not ur fault, u say, sure, but was it? Only later on when u examine it dispassionately and honestly will u be able to remember the signs u missed, or whatever other faults of urs actually led you to that point.

DWS33_ · 2019-09-14T18:26:41+00:00

you don’t miss her . you just miss having a connection with someone. you miss knowing there’s someone out there that looks forward to seeing / talking to you. now that it’s gone. your brain is craving that dopamine rush . talk to diff women. if she cheated once she’ll do it again.

i’m not MGTOW but look up Sandman Don’t contact your ex on youtube. whenever you wanna reach out. Watch that video

Jabbermouth · 2019-09-15T15:46:25+00:00

Nah fuck that. I say reach out to her. Text her. Call her. Swallow your pride and reach out to her first. Get that closure that you so desperately need.

Then, after you realize how fucking stupid of a decision you made, come back here and read the sidebar. It will prevent you from posting questions like this in the future.

Sylvester_Sterone · 2019-09-14T19:15:31+00:00

epicfadeout · 2019-09-14T22:45:05+00:00

what everyone else will tell you: don't ever reach out to a cheating ex (or better yet any ex).

what enlightening information do you hope to hear? She's a chick, it's gonna be a bunch of chickspeak gobbledygook, and since you're obviously too nice as is, you'll probably take her garbage make-believe "reasons" to heart, and now she's fucked you over yet again. Been there.

Don't give her the satisfaction.

amphix339 · 2019-09-14T23:04:20+00:00

When you're by yourself, count the material things in your life that you wouldn't be able to replace. Mayeb your favorite pair of shoes or your wristwatch handed down by your dad.

Make a list.

Now realise that any woman is replaceable. No one person should hold more value over you than the things in your list.

It'll put your life in existence, you've lived a lot and you have a lot more to live for

Vermillion_Rx · 2019-09-15T05:56:17+00:00

This response is blunt as hell but I think you'll come to appreciate it looking back

1 Take a deep breath, cry it out if you have to. Yeah, crying is not red-pilled in most cases, but if you're new to it, a good release could be what you need to get started on this journey properly. Let it the fuck out while you can. (Privately, and not in front of any women)

2 Read the side bar of the red-pill subreddit. The more you learn female nature, the angrier you'll initially be, but the more calm you'll eventually be. The truth stings before it sets you free. You'll see the writing on the walls in hindsight and this insight will calm you because it will eventually appear to be too predictable to be mad about.

3 You'll then realized that she's trash. The fact that you're this upset about her will eventually disgust you later and you'll be glad she kicked her low-quality self to the curb instead of you having to do it yourself when your life and status shoot up.

4 speaking of status, the more you improve yourself, get other higher-quality women, etc. The more you'll be glad that she freed you from her. You'll have better plates or LTRs if you so choose and you'll love your new options.

She freed you, you just don't see it yet.

I wish you luck

Edit: added text: don't contact her. Block her if need be. Delete social networking with her. She's dead to you from now on. Don't cave in at all, you don't need closure because it's female nature combined with her being a shitty human being. Don't sell yourself short and concede more power, life, and time to her. This will all catch up with her eventually anyway.

Title	Please Help me convince myself that I shouldn’t reach out to my cheating ex.
Author	jmario123
Upvotes	0
Comments	9
Date	September 14, 2019 4:23 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/d47ceq/please_help_me_convince_myself_that_i_shouldnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/please-help-me-convince-myself-that-i-shouldnt.253249 https://theredarchive.com/post/253249

Comments