Pre-date nerves

[deleted] · 2014-06-20T15:10:16+00:00

talk to as many different people the day you meet her, definitely strangers. you're getting pre-date AA. So talk to loads of people to reduce it. Also, get there before her and have one drink, should help. And finally, the most obvious thing here, which you need to hear - STOP FUCKING PEDESTALISING HER YOU PATHEITC BETA CUNT. imagining her as your GF and other gay stuff like that, imagine bending her over, that will sort your nerves!!!

and breathe. it's just a date with a girl.

followtheRaven · 2014-06-20T18:59:50+00:00

Before you leave, look at your handsome face in the mirror, check out your obnoxious but awesome grin, look yourself in the eyes and speak the magic words: "I got this"

trp_que · 2014-06-20T14:49:37+00:00

I prefer grabbing a drink as a first date. It's casual, it's easy to wrap things up if things aren't going well, and allows for easy conversation.

The anxiety comes from you having expectations. Just be chill, treat it like having a casual conversation with anyone. Any pre-date jitters I have (which through experience has become minimal) usually go away once the initial minute or two of conversation has passed. Repetition is key. I remember doing my first OKCupid date and how fucking nervous and weird I was. Now I find I can go into dates calm and relaxed. Girls usually comment how relaxed I look on first dates. I came to realize that regardless of how nervous you feel, chances are, she is way more nervous than you are.

raceAround126 · 2014-06-20T18:24:01+00:00

Well, I'm outtahere...

See you on the flipside!

bertmaklinFBI · 2014-06-20T18:35:39+00:00

Second the drink idea.

No need to over think it. You are going out and having a good time. You just have a follower. As long as you are having a good time that is all that matters. Entertain yourself.

thepillwastaken · 2014-06-20T18:36:29+00:00

You don't know if she is a plate or a GF? WTF man, they are all fucking plates. God damn. The whole point is to fuck them so well that THEY request to be your GF.

Its just a girl. Relax, and do whatever you feel like.

raceAround126 · 2014-06-21T09:16:59+00:00

Welp, went out to meet her. All went pretty well.

Instantly calmed down when I got there, just played it cool. It kinda helped as the bar we were meeting at, I knew one of the barmaids in there and we were shooting the shit for a while before she arrived.

Anyway, a couple of drinks, she bought first so checkbox. Onto some random wandering around London, finished in an electronica club I know. I did notice all the way through, she pretty much allowed me to lead where the date took us, despite being eager to participate in the goofing off. She enjoyed it, we got some good dancing moves on in the club, all went well (TRP tip - learn to dance!).

She sometimes played a little bit while on the dance floor. She would sometimes break off and start dancing with another guy here and there. A lot cleaner than with me, no touching, she visibly moved a guy off of her who tried to get fresh. Her back was to me at that point, so I don't think she knows I saw that. Though, maybe she did.

I'd also amplify by dancing up to another girl. It wouldn't be long before she'd come seek me back out and we'd get more into it. She did that a couple of times before saying, "I gotta keep my eye on you, eh?" I just responded something like, "So long as I can keep my hands on your ass, keep your eyes wherever you like!" She didn't go off again after that. I guess, win? I included it here maybe as you guys can clarify better.

Anyway we'd done plenty escalating, smooching all that kinda stuff. We were walking back to the station, we found it had closed for some reason a little early. We ran into a couple of people faced with the same problem.

So we did a quick geography and decided it was easier to get back to my place as her place would have been a couple of hours by night bus. Hesitant, she agreed but with the stipulation that she never "does this" on the first date. But, it kinda seemed like she wanted to come back anyway.

We got back to mine and she was visibly nervous. But, put some music on and we did some over the clothes kinda stuff, which got pretty hot. The presence of next-doors cat having broken in did a lot to lighten the mood (the git does that sometimes).

Anyway, I didn't fuck her as she said she won't go there that quickly and, her words, "I like you, but I don't put out that quick for anyone!"

We eventually fell asleep while talking shit, I couldn't decide if I'd failed a shit test or if she was worth some cop. The whole night I was looking for shit tests. She dealt a few small ones, a simple agree and amplify paid off admirably and earned me a bit of an escalation in terms of touchy feeliness. Probably the biggest escalator is playing with her hair. That was the first time I'd escalated to that point and it pays of wonders.

This morning, it's about 7:30 am. I set my alarm early for particular reasons. Anyway, more snuggling, kissing, touching. I think if I'd pushed it, I could have got her to do more; she even admitted how horny she was but still wanted to wait. But I decided, I kinda like her too so let's see where that goes.

So far, so good? I have no doubt that she's angling to enter the frame above plate level. I haven't a problem with that, she's cute and so far has some cop to her. Just need to watch the shit tests and make sure she's worth the bother. I have no idea about history, not really something I get into first time. She does check a few boxes. She's happy to pay her way, has a decent job, degree educated and still able to talk about her subject with enthusiasm. And she was more than willing to throw down in the kitchen making breakfast this morning.

Down sides are there were some shit tests (which I believe I passed). Can't decide if the waiting for sex thing is an attempt to beta-fy or if she's genuine. Can't help but feel a little cock-teased, but she did admit at some point that she'd already gone passed how she'd usually act on a first date. I guess, TRP techniques are just that good.

She did bring up the whaler. She apologized for her being such a bitch and how she was really glad that I'd stepped in and saved her evening basically. She referred to whaler as a good mate but an embarrassment most of the time.

Welp, roll on next time.

Title	Pre-date nerves
Author	raceAround126
Upvotes	4
Comments	8
Date	June 20, 2014 1:55 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/28n35p/predate_nerves/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/pre-date-nerves.140378 https://theredarchive.com/post/140378

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