I've suffered from some form of BPD or Split Personality Disorder for some years now and it has made most people disdain me. I only had a few close friends and those whom I would often associate with, would stay away from me because I am often incongruent and have so much dissonance. I sometimes go from a serious logical thinking, smart-looking persona, a bit nerdy, to sometimes a really manic and insulting persona, an asshole, sometimes even a joker, a people-pleaser. I also tend to be motivated at some times then get to be really lazy most of the time. Sometimes when I get angry, I just laugh hysterically a few moments later.

Often times people don't have respect for me, and influencing them or trying to make them do things for me, or asking a favour would be a problem. There would be no reciprocity coming from them, Most people hold me to no value and would just kick me off groups, make me an outcast and at often times would have no empathy. They just don't give a shit about me.

How can I try to apply RP principles properly to myself and be much more congruent despite of this? I've tried applying some of them, but there's just too much dissonance and I look like a try-hard which makes everything worse.