Questions concerning hard/soft next.

Stayinghereforreal · 2015-07-29T14:48:51+00:00

You should just treat her like a woman whose company you mildly enjoy, and who is part of your extended social group. But extend no other relationship or friend privileges to her. She is not a friend. She is not a confidante. You do no favors for her. No giving of rides or help with some problem. You are always too busy at the time she asks.

She always gets a polite, friendly response to direct statements to you that are polite and friendly. No interaction via text or social media, beyond social activity group organizing. In short, anyone watching you two interact will see, on your side, an upbeat, friendly guy who obviously harbors no ill will towards her, and seems to get along with her.

Stop it with the "hard next"/revenge stuff. She was trying to hurt you, yes, but that is what gals do when they want to test your commitment to them. This was a nuclear shit test, and you ignored it. She made sure everyone saw her get with another guy. Maybe she expected a response from you. But you can be sure everyone was saying, "OMG, did you see how [plate] and that guy hooked up, right in front of bettaredhandead? Omg hamster hamster hamster gossip gossip gossip."

What she doesn't get is that level of disrespect, in front of everyone, requires you to truly move on, and leave her behind. Never complain, never explain. Not to her, not to anyone.

People in the group will get the message: you are able to just move on when people do things to try and manipulate you via shit tests. Your coolness factor goes up. Invariably.

Naturally, from this point on, she also gets an a completely laconic non-response when she starts giving you shit in front of the group at some point. And she will do that. Once she realizes that her revenge attempt failed, and you DGAF, she will be mad. That will turn into a need to reduce your status among the group you are in. Ignore it.

AND when (not if) her proxies come to you and say, "Why are you so mean to [plate]? Is it because she blah blah blah?" You say nothing substantive in response. No, you just say, "Mean? Me? I don't know what you are talking about. Why do you ask?" Then just keep asking them questions about their question. At the end, you respond with "Huh, guess I never much thought about it. I don't really think about her that much, I guess. She's okay, and all, but it is not like we are close."

If they try to cajole you into telling more, by saying, "Aw, don't play that with me! I know it hurt when she blah blah blah." Look at them with a bored expression and just say, "Not sure where this is going. What is your goal here?" Then just stare at them. Whatever their response, just nod, shrug, and change the topic to something you want to talk about. Never answer another question about her again when her proxies come around.

blacwidonsfw · 2015-07-29T15:36:14+00:00

She is now a dude to you, be cordial in person nothing more. Absolutely no contact on social media

recon_johnny · 2015-07-29T14:30:14+00:00

Ok, so I've been told I'm direct and give shit all the time, and should give a little more background and context when replying.

BUT ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

She fucked this guy because you fucked her roomate. Even if not, she nexted you, bro. Hate to tell you. That ship has sailed, and you need to move on.

Drop all contacts socially. All social media--meaning all the bullshit you have connected with her. She's the same as some dude you met in a bar that you had a beer with once. She's nothing to you. She's in your group of friends? Ok, you don't have to talk with her. You barely need to acknowledge her. Just treat her like some dude you don't like that's part of the group. Because that's all she is. Ignore, but be civil when confronted, because you will be. She'll want to get a reaction from you. Do the normal shit test things....A&A, Ignore, Change subject...but leave her alone as much as you can.

On social media--don't reply, don't have a big row, DON'T LOSE YOUR FRAME TO GIVE HER CLOSURE. Search TRP for 'cum stain', excellent post about a man who found his GF cheated, and his reactions.

Read that.

machimus · 2015-07-29T17:36:58+00:00

Chill, this warrants a soft next. Hear me out:

She's a plate, you don't own her. You have no claim to who she sleeps with any more than she has to you.

You also slept with her roommate. Even if it was technically fair game...ouch, that's kind of fair.

The reason you would soft next her at all is because she handled her jealousy poorly.

OmLaLa · 2015-07-29T19:02:35+00:00

So things went a little suboptimal last week when my plate went away and I drunkenly fucked her roomate.

I think you misspelled "successful".

To make things worse a guy who wanted to get with her told my plate about it.

Plate doesn't equate to commitment and Betas will always backstab over cheap pussy, so this shouldn't concern or surprise you.

Cool with me, I knew he had more smv than me in that venue. Well this guy and herseperated from our group and made out and stuff and he probably fucked her (dont know since I left with my friends earlier, didnt want to stick around for this shitshow).

It's only your turn. She doesn't belong to you. That night, it was apparently his turn.

I didnt act jealous or anything at all and talked up a couple girls myself. I knew that this was revenge for what I did. I dont really want to continue fucking her since seeing that.

...and no one would blame you. Amazing how easy NSA sex becomes for the sake of "revenge"...

I didnt act jealous or anything at all Im not jealous about what she did

Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself, not us.

I was just disgusted at how she threw herself at him all in front of me, what I found really disrespectful.

It was.

So thing is I want to hard next her since I dont play that shit but I have a few questions concerning the radiosilence part.

Go on.

Shes in my group of friends, so when were out im not gonna completely ignore her since thats gonna look butthurt, but im going to withdraw most of my attention.

I see nothing wrong with this response.

But what about Whatsapp, facebook and all that jazz? She will see that I was online since she wrote me last and that Im just not replying to HER.

If she's in your group of friends, don't block her. Just be "too busy" to reply back.

Post pictures of you with other girls. Write on other girl's walls and have them write on yours.

You get over her through multiple women, she pines over the terrible decisions she made, you friends nickname you "Sex God". Everyone that matter is happy.

Isnt that gonna come off as me being jealous because she fucked that other guy?

In all honestly, the fact that you wrote out this story to the length that you did AND you inquired about "not appearing jealous" thrice, leads me to believe you're a bit jealous.

Denying it doesn't make it any less true.

Focus on abundance mentality. You have to understand that this won't be the last time a plate fucks some other guy, revenge or otherwise.

They don't belong to you, it's just your turn.

Mustaka · 2015-07-29T16:14:20+00:00

And this why you do not plate someone in your direct social circle.

afroose · 2015-07-29T14:20:22+00:00

I think you shouldn't act like anything happened, she is just your hole. but if you are disgusted answer at least you will look butthurt. Keep fucking her if anything change she will think that she won.

Title	Questions concerning hard/soft next.
Author	Bettahredthandead
Upvotes	13
Comments	12
Date	July 29, 2015 2:09 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3f138w/questions_concerning_hardsoft_next/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/questions-concerning-hardsoft-next.151743 https://theredarchive.com/post/151743

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