Hi trp.

I'm in a relationship with a woman now for about 6 months. I was the one who convinced her to have a relationship with me, as she first just wanted me to fuck me without strings. i however like her really much as a person, and she does me now that she knows me.

however, she has a fuck ton of red flags. i want to eliminate them, i want the absolutely last answer to be 'to leave her'. i actually also enjoy the process of changing and manipulating her mind, gives me a sort of a jesus complex high. anyway -

amongst many she doesn't find a problem in 'keeping in touch' with exes and old boyfriends. i've read her private diary and there's two of them, which she has also admitted to me, she is 'still thinking about'. now, she has gone to steps in order to 'see them', etc. i confirmed with the diary to 'see if she still has feelings', because the breakup was rough. naturally, i find this disgusting. i want her to be fully commited to me. how can i make her change this insecurity about us?

also, she doesn't see a problem in keeping in touch with people who requested sex with her before we were together. obviusly in the mind of these guys she's first and foremost an object of lust. secondly, they most likely are keeping up friendly relations as she might be available for them in the future. this also, is intellectually dishonest and scummy for her not to fully accept as disingenious and low class behaviour on her part.

how to possibly change her, she is -slowly-, very slowly.. changing into liking me a lot more. but she still has these fucking disgusting sides to her. she's a sociopath and a manipulator with no problems about lying. says reason she keeps these guys at arms length distance is so she can 'use them', whatever that means, in the futre. she lies to hide truths she thinks i might find uncomfortable, although i frequently dive in her secret little diary.

she's the liberal art type, so we obv. have some value issues. she's fun as fuck to be with and showers me in gifts and love.

help me out awakened ones..