Self Esteem/Weak Mind Issues - Need advice.

jamescastillo76 · 2020-04-10T02:53:40+00:00

So lift? Lol did you think there was gonna be some little mental trick secret that somebody on here would give you? Btw there’s no way you’re too weak minded to exercise it’s literally only like an hour and it’s fun

bleubonbon · 2020-04-10T05:03:01+00:00

[deleted]

le_wolfe · 2020-04-10T05:56:27+00:00

Let's be honest, you're nothing but a skinny shit. You keep comparing yourself to others, feel like shit and then pity yourself. You might be very smart but never got any respect or pussy. You have achieved nothing but fuck all in life.

If this has to change, you need to accept the above.

Next, you need to cultivate discipline. Forget about your looks, goals or getting girls — you got bigger problems. You need to build good habits and fill up your free time. I don't give a fuck what you do just pick a few hobbies. Read everything: the sidebar, beginner posts and recommended books. Kick out porn, netflix and video games from your life.

Once you have your life in some order — join a gym and start lifting weights. This is non-negotiable. Google starting strength.

Everything else you need to know is here. Ask questions, be thankful for any advice you get & apply it wisely.

Read this:

http://archive.is/X8Xqt

http://archive.is/cmUe8

Solitarymonk · 2020-04-10T10:29:16+00:00

My advice is to get a job in sales. Retail sales or telesales. You need to face rejection every single day and overcome it. You need to learn to hustle when you don't feel like it.

Prior to working in sales, I was as nervous and shy as they come. I came out the other side far more confident.

Also, like other comments mentioned, you need to do shit you don't want to do. Scared of public speaking? Do it. Scared of heights? Do an aerial assault course (after lock down of course).

Are you going to get into some sketchy situations? Maybe. There will be times you feel terrified and want to give in. The danger of facing your fears is you remove the walls you have put around yourself and stare into the infinite possibilities of your life.

My question for you is, are you ready to give up the person who you think you are?

mr4kino · 2020-04-10T11:30:19+00:00

Go to the gym OP, do martial arts, this will help a LOT. You will feel and, in fact, be powerful. This will give you lots of confidence.

Work-wise, try to hit the jackpot. You are intelligent and can get those high positions. The nerdish part is perfect, this will get you a lot of money. You just have to be wise in your career choices.

Work on the healthy part: Martial arts, sleep well, eat well: no fast-food, fizzy drinks, alcohol, cheetos, and all that crap. Cook at home, and no you don't need to be a Masterchef to make some minced-meat plates.

You are still 19yo. That is a good thing you opened your eyes now, some of the guys open their eyes at 35 after a divorce rape. Don't be bothered by this. You have done half of the job already: realizing the issue. Work on the other half now and don't think about women, just concentrate on yourself.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2020-04-10T16:34:58+00:00

This may be a bit long so bear with me me. Hopefully you can get some value our if what I have to way.

All of this happened to me without my control,

Bullshit. You have some measure of control over your feelings and your mental space. Not full control, however You can choose how to interpret and organize.

You're choosing to obsess over the externalities you couldn't control as a way of staying stuck and acting helpless. This to avoid taking ownership over your own mental space which is the thing you probably have the most control over, in contrast.

Read the book "Switch" by Chip and Dan Heath.

I feel very unworthy of any woman I see or meet in my daily life.

Iron Rule of Thomassi #8

I (19, M) have severe self-esteem issues.

Oh my!

This is a term that really needs to be cut out of the English language. 1% of people who use it are therapists and the other 99% of people use it for one reason, to frame themselves as helpless victims, and therefore gain zero benefit from the concept.

I'd really suggest you stop using this term.

Background: I've been bullied at school for most of my childhood

Who wasn't, kid? Most of the people here got over being bullied as a schoolkid, and you can too.

If you're going to feel sorry for yourself and unworthy, at least come up with some better material than this.

It's OK to be pissed off and even feel ashamed about bullying sometimes. Hotheads and trash talkers can sit on a cactus and spin around.

You don't get to come over here and whine about how you're an exceptional victim and exceptional outcast or pariah. Blah blah blah blah.

This is the wrong sub for that.

and it has affected me a lot. My growth stopped at around 16

Get your hormone levels checked.

leaving me short at 5'7" and I now have lost a lot of hair and have prematurely grey hair as well.

You've got some kind of legit medical condition. As in thyroid or pituitary issue or something like that. This isn't normal.

Go talk to a doctor ASAP. I mean, say, in 2 months after this whole pandemic has burned out.

Stop whining about your precious all-important self-esteem and how unfortunate your life is. Because what you need is fucking medical advice.

Get a full blood panel.

I have skinny arms and ladylike/feminine/small hands and arms which makes me feel weak as fuck.

It's not your arms and hands that make you effiminate. It's your whining, mental masturbation, and victimhood attitude.

I was a bright kid at school (nerd-ish) and never focussed on any sports and health,

Oh well. Now's a great time to start.

and I heavily regret now. In short, I have a lot of insecurities about my height and my body, and not being masculine enough.

Stop trying to Qualify Yourself.

It's women's job to qualify themselves to you. Never the other way around.

Moreover, I'm not good looking by any means so that makes me feel like an incel.

It isn't your looks that make you or anyone else an incel. It's their victim mentality.

I'm full of feelings of unworthiness of anybody's love/affection and I'm constantly seeking out for everybody's validation.

You're not full of anything. That's entirely the problem, a lack of fulfillment.

You have a scarcity/insufficiency/poverty/emptyness mentality.

This is because you're only focused on the negatives of your experiences (Loss- Aversion Bias) So in your mind you only have half the story. So this would make anyone feel empty and Luke half a person. You're not thinking about the ways you empowered yourself to move on from shitty events.

The solution to this takes time. That is, to fill yourself with wholesome, fulfilling experiences,

so I now consider it to be my 'bad hand' and all I now want is to be a slightly less shitty version of myself, that's it.

Fuck that. Be an excellent version of yourself instead.

Iron Rule of Thomassi #9. Never Self-Deprecate under any circumstances.

I try to try to make myself fit and fix my habits, but I'm mentally too weak to do this.

Sorry to hear that.

Keep doing it anyway.

I see a picture of anybody online,

Get off social media completely and go monk mode.

or even if I see any guy in real life who is slightly better looking or taller or has female friends, my mind goes into the loop of feeling more shitty and unworthy of anything in life.

You can't always control feelings of Envy, but you can choose not to contemplate them.

isomar1998 · 2020-04-10T03:36:16+00:00

Do, persevere, repeat

____Weabooo_V2 · 2020-04-10T03:14:38+00:00

SIDEBAR

rprookie · 2020-04-10T06:57:31+00:00

Personally for me I stopped comparing myself to other people. Every time I would compare myself to anyone I would count how many times I compared myself until I stopped.

Works but your self-esteem is still going to feel like shit, just a little less.

H_Crush · 2020-04-10T07:53:43+00:00

All great tips here, but I'd also recommend fixing your mental health if you have problems with it. If you have depression, gym will help, but it won't cure it, with time it well help less and less. If you have some anxiety disorder, like OCD for example, where you have a physical fault in your brain, no amount of lifting will fix it, you need behavioural therapy. Also start lifting and trying out all sorts of stuff before something sticks and you find your purpose in it. You are young, so use it as an optimism and trust the process.

Title	Self Esteem/Weak Mind Issues - Need advice.
Author	dieorsuffer
Upvotes	6
Comments	18
Date	April 10, 2020 12:29 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/fy46c5/self_esteemweak_mind_issues_need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/self-esteemweak-mind-issues-need-advice.361515 https://theredarchive.com/post/361515

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