~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]touchingsound9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's not really about HER, so much as the enigma she created in your mind. An unassailable wall, an impenetrable fortress. You'd be surprised how much of this you're building up yourself and painting the rosy picture in your mind because... it's one hell of a lot of fun to wonder what if.
But it's gone, brother. Gone. Even if it had happened it wouldn't have been that great. If you'd had the time you wanted together it wouldn't have worked out the way you think it could have. The brief time you had wasn't enough to give you a realistic POV and you now think EVERY moment you two spend together could be that awesome.
It can't. It wouldn't. It won't.
[–]ControlBlue2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, pretty much, it's gone now. What is happening to you is normal though, it's your body indicating its level of desire for this person, but it's just desire, it's only here because you know you can't get her, it's not here to tell you how great things would have been with her.
So the biggest mistake you can do right now is entertaining the fantasy that maybe you can make something work, that desire, when time and distance (I assume) have made it unlikely that it would. Just keep doing what you are doing and sooner or later you will forget about her, that's life.
Also, if you really wanted something to happen you would have made it so when you had the occasion. Now, it's gone and the best thing you can do is reflect on what you did wrong, to make sure that you get the next one (and there will be one) that incite the same level of desire.
[–]Carpiem2 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Happened the same to me when I was 18 years old. I was completed obssessed by this girl. Luckily I managed to make her my girlfriend and I dated her for many years. Even nowadays she still has some effect on me.
This perfect idealization you created is only in your head. She's just a woman, and believe me, after you fuck her and feel validated by her you'll wonder what was the big deal.
No matter how many girls I'm with she won't leave me alone
The most common reason for this to happen is the girls you're funcking aren't as attractive as your oneitis. Don't rationalize it. Be honest with yourself.
[–]_red_carpet0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just remember AWALT.
She's not some unicorn/perfect match for you. Think about everything bad about her that you don't like. Focus on the fact that she's probably riding the CC. Even if she's not, focus on the fact that she'd probably give it up for chad, but didn't for you.
Maybe unfollow her on facebook other social media. Don't let your mind build up something that's not real.
Luckily oneitis is curable, I promise. Keep doing what you're doing. Focus on lifting and your career.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]touchingsound9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ControlBlue2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Carpiem2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]_red_carpet0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link