Shit testing from gf. Whether or not to drop her

Yashugan00 · 2016-11-21T18:18:57+00:00

Could just be her period. Or, she's having doubts about you mid cycle when she craves the alpha the most.

Willow-girl · 2016-11-21T18:04:36+00:00

The point of dating is to figure out whether you're compatible. If you're not -- and it sounds like you're not -- there is really no reason to keep trying to hammer a round peg into a square hole.

Plenty of fish in the sea.

verily_rp · 2016-11-21T18:29:02+00:00

Whatever you do, maintain frame. don't get too attached. ALWAYS be ready to walk, and ALWAYS be ready to leave the relationship on your terms. This does not mean issue ultimatums, however. Nothing is worth your dignity as a man, and if you don't respect yourself, you can't expect she will, either. This is where women are so fickle and change their minds when threatening to leave a relationship over some stupid shit. She wants to know you're a real man, a man she wants. She'll feel real comfortable leaving if you've lost frame, groveling at her feet. Women have no problem leaving a broken man without any remorse. She'll laugh at him, even. Remember, she'll never love you the way you want to be loved. Women are fundamentally incapable of that kind of love. This is your red pilled truth. Use it to find real happiness.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2016-11-21T18:35:32+00:00

Shit testing is just a game. You fail by taking it seriously in any way. It's basically an open invitation to have some fun at your GF's expense, and treat her like a willful child.

Women love that shit, it makes them feel happy and secure in their investment, to know you consider them your second in command.

but she uses it as an angle to say that's all I care about.

You're not spanking her enough. You're not making her submit to you enough. This basically means you're getting boring and that triggers her ASD.

"who said anything about sex? I'm just in it for the giggles. Now go get me a sandwich." This can be followed by a playful spank, depending.

quicklogaccount · 2016-11-21T19:05:38+00:00

Did I handle it ok?

It's hard to say. You both let her know you were shaken by her behavior by your reaction today (the talk about changing) and refused to address the issue when she brought it up.
Letting her know you were shaken signaled to her she has power, and the second bit might both be interpreted as strength or immaturity.
Once you brought up the subject - changes - and initiated the conversation, you were supposed to discuss it, not a&a.

Is it worth putting up with her crap?

It doesn't look like it. Relationships don't bring a lot of benefits by themselves. We have a meme of saying "relationships are hard work", because indeed they are, and turns out it's insanely rare for them to pay off.

A bit of a disclaimer. Don't be a dick to your partner, hear her and ponder whether she is right or not when she asks to be heard. Some times she will be.

If you're wondering whether you should break up with a girl because of HER, the answer is "most likely yes". It doesn't matter if you're being a dick or not, if you're blaming it on her, it means you are not compatible, things are not running smooth. And contrary to popular belief, they SHOULD run smooth. Maybe it was different back in the long gone days of yore.
If you're being a dick, you'll eventually learn that, or if your SMV is high enough, you'll live happily ever after as such. Either way, this is something you make a moment introspection about and figure it out, not something people tell you. People need a LOT of good credentials to tell you that.

The only time you should second guess yourself about a break up is when you think "I want to bang more chicks but I'll have to let this one go and she's amazing". Then you get to think.

mabden · 2016-11-21T19:43:24+00:00

an angle to say that's all I care about

Shit Test - Agree and Amplify

do some lame thing of hers and gets prissy

Double Bind - your fucked if you do or don't. Learn how to deal with them as they are a bitch and chicks are masters of putting you in them.

told her things had to change

This is like pissing in the wind. But you should know this already.

she wants to make things better

For Her! A conversation at this point would not have been a bad idea to find out what she really means and how far she is willing to go to "make things better" for you.

got me a "fuck you" and she hung up

Not the best place for AA. This is more a feelz dump more than a shit test. The FU/hang up is drama directed at you. Soft Next (ignore) for a few days. If she doesn't call/text you after that, then delete her number and move on.

EDIT Next time talk in person so you can read body language and deal better with the feelz. These types or conversations almost never go well over the phone. Phone/text is to setup meets, not in depth discussions over the "relationship."

Wheyman92 · 2016-11-22T05:10:05+00:00

but she uses it as an angle to say that's all I care about

It can be a comfort test. She might need to be told she's so much more than that to you, blah blah blah. She might also need to be told "Well if you don't want to feel like all you're good for is pussy, maybe you could try bringing more to the table" (I would almost always go with this response but you gotta mix the beta in with the alpha in a LTR)

Or she'll tell me I can spend time with my friends

Yeah this is not the right language. It should never be a situation where she "allows" you to do something (and you shouldn't do that to her, it's weak). Women KNOW what is acceptable behavior, if she does something out of line, you let her, and you drop her.

So after this happened last night I went radio silence on her until she called tonight. I told her I was busy and would call her back.

Dude...radio silence is not 1 day.

She told me she wants to make things better and that all I do lately is make her feel bad. So I agreed and amplified and said that's my goal sarcastically which got me a "fuck you" and she hung up.

Yeah, you did fuck up. She said she wants to make things better, not "lets work together and make things better". She was giving you a chance to say "Listen babe, I'm not trying to make you feel bad, and I'm not doing anything to make you feel bad. You need to take responsibility for how you feel, they're your feelings, not mine. Your actions are, however, negatively impacting me, so if you would like to make the relationship better I suggest you do (insert what you want)"

Instead you just tried to sound cool.

All in all, the amount of talking you would have to do to make this work is, imo, not worth it. Jesus, just giving you advice on this dumbass subject makes me realize how glad I am to be single.

Title	Shit testing from gf. Whether or not to drop her
Author	sam1022
Upvotes	1
Comments	14
Date	November 21, 2016 5:50 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5e5ds3/shit_testing_from_gf_whether_or_not_to_drop_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/shit-testing-from-gf-whether-or-not-to-drop-her.77933 https://theredarchive.com/post/77933

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