I swallowed the pill, or if you will re-swallowed the pill, last week, when I started to realize I was showing more beta behavior than I usually do. I will provide a some back story.

I have been talking and seeing this girl since the New Year (we reconnected on NYE), and we have been talking since. We slept together on the second outing. All of this was obvious during the holidays, so the messaging between us was quite free, quick responses, etc.

Although, her ex is still a part of her life, she does not see him in a romantic way anymore, and only "checks in on him" because he is a drug user and doesn't want him to hurt himself. Though, even now he is constantly giving her shit, and as a consequence she talks to me less. She says its the same with everyone, and that university work and family issues also play a part.

Of course I don't like this and have told her, with the response "she is not going to let him let her feel like that again" yet I am always hearing about it. Should I become aloof, give her space and let her miss me, not become an obligation but an escape for her obligations or show her that she could potentially lose me if she doesn't step up her game. My SMV is high (African male, 21, I work out, good course at uni, good ambitions).