Two days ago I went out by myself at an international student event in a cafe. Not a massive party, something chill. I managed to be quite social (I'm usually not), befriended a few person and the president of the association, which introduced me to some really hot girls there. Got the facebook of the three hottest ones in there, some light banter and teasing, I think I managed to made quite a good impression as when I opened a set of girls they asked "oh you're the guy from <myhomecountry> right?". So I had a good evening and it was quite the achievement as I have a hard time being social and befriending people.

So before leaving on thursday, they invited me to one of their party tonight. It's in a club, and I don't like clubs. I don't like dancing, I like talking, and talking and clubbing don't go well together. I also don't drink. Not only that but my 2 plates broke this week and I have 0 plates running now. I'm feeling reverting back to my depressed self and having self-deprecating thoughts.

Should I even go? On one hand, staying at home watching Netflix is pathetic and won't make me closer to my goals. On the other hand, with my current mood, going there is social suicide. I can already picture myself standing there void of any energy and happiness, and these people wondering "what the fuck is wrong with him?".