TL;DR: Girlfriend of 3 years gave everything, I took it for granted. She broke up with me as she felt I didn't care enough (probably true at the time) and I let her go, she got with another guy over Xmas and now I realise what I've lost.

Hi everyone,

Been thinking of posting for a while now. This is a long, 3-year story spanning continents, but I will try and keep it as brief as possible. We met 3 years ago, she since moved back to the US/Canada and I back to the UK and so for the past year or so it has been long distance (I know...)

I (now 26) met her (now 21) when I was in a relationship but she heavily pursued me. I eventually broke it off with my girlfriend to get with her (it very quickly turned into a relationship) and she moved in with me within a couple of weeks (long story - we were in China at the time and she had run away from home to escape her often intolerable controlling parents), with me effectively 'rescuing her' from her situation - wasn't even conscious I was doing it. Honestly, I would say she's a 9/10, truly beautiful - funny, intelligent, caring, generous etc..... She would always put a massive amount of effort in to keep us together. But she'd also make a lot of mistakes and it was hard for me to trust her.

It was a tricky relationship from the start - fighting and arguing - mainly caused by the constant intrusion of her parents. She also lied a lot at the beginning which hurt. The good times were great. However, she was always convinced I didn't love her as much as she did me and she'd often try to get me to chase her, stop her from leaving, making scenes in public. I was the one who cared less and to be honest, I thought she'd never leave. She did adore me but I was quite cautious about committing myself too much at that stage, not least due to her parents constant presence. I chalked it down to her being young (18 at the time) and immature. I saw potential.

She was always eager for my attention - compliments, wanting to know I cared, that I loved her, - she wanted me to put more effort into the relationship than I was, show her I cared more. I didn't prioritise her and neglected her as I was focused on my new job and I made her feel alone. She flagged this to me but I just didn't seem to take notice. She was unhappy. She broke up with for the above reasons around 6 weeks ago and blocked me and ignored me. For the first two weeks, I didn't care that much and didn't reach out to her - I thought she'd come back like she always did and everything would be OK. Then I found out she went back to the US for Christmas and was seeing a guy friend. I called her and she admitted what they'd intimately done, and it broke me. She seemed to be pretty indifferent to me all of a sudden and over our relationship. She said she'd put in so much effort and that she was always there and that she used to always come back, and that was her biggest mistake, and that this time it was different and she was moving on. She said I wasn't 'the only option anymore'. I felt like I'd been cheated on and was hurt she could move on so quickly.

I realise how absurd the above sounds but I do miss her a lot and wish I'd reached out to her as soon as she broke up with me as she said she just wanted me to show her I cared and would fight for her, but I didn't until it was too late. I should have given her more attention and priority.

We've spoke a few times since, mainly me being pathetic. Tried to be friends but it was too hard for me so I said I had to get over her and leave. She's stopped contacting me and she's asked me to stop contacting her as it upsets her when I do, but won't block me and always replies. She said I had too many chances to show her I loved her, to plan for the future, and that it's too late now. I'm having a really difficult time moving on, almost like kicking an addiction and feel like I need to get her back. Or somehow sever the attachment.

I feel like I need a reality check, which is why I'm here. What should I do?

Thank you.