Social anxiety

vandaalen · 2019-01-06T23:18:19+00:00

Stay away from parties and clubs. simple as that. you clearly don't enjoy them and it's no problem at all. after I stopped drinking, I realized that one of the reasons why I always got shitface drunk was because I found it boring as hell.

The hedonistic lifestyle is a lie anyways.

If you want to learn how to just approach people, start low and escalate. Assign tasks and go through with them. Goto the mall and force yourself to ask ten people for the time or what ever gives you slight discomfort, but is manageable for yourself. Build it from there. You could i.e. ask strangers for advice on clothes. Start to sprinkle in shit that might be embarrassing for you. It will take time, but you'll get there.

renboque · 2019-01-06T22:49:44+00:00

You need to work your problems out with a therapist or better yet a psychotherapist.

People who dont deal with social anxiety are quick to tell you to just lift and look better or drink alcohol or to just take risks or whatever.

When you actually have social anxiety, you need to work it out with a psychotherapist. You may not know why you experience these things but once you break it down with someone who knows their shit and you become aware, and life gets better.

One thing to note is that your social anxiety will be with you forever. You learn how to deal with it. Better start early now than wait and procrastinate.

-someone with social anxiety who has been working on himself and has began to learn how to deal with social anxiety and who has had mild success with women and at parties

FinancialElephant · 2019-01-07T04:51:13+00:00

I would not recommend drinking if you don't like it. It's a crutch.

If you want to figure out how something works, take it apart. If you want to reduce your anxiety about messing with it, break it. I heard about this PUA technique years ago called "sacrificing the lamb". Act wilder and more arrogant / extreme / goofy / whatever you want to "break out" in your first few interactions with strangers. You almost want to purposely fuck up the interaction. This will loosen you up and take you out of your head. It's almost like breaking the ice with yourself and it fosters a healthy frame of outcome independence. This is why people drink, to loosen inhibitions. Difference is you do it manually, which means you will have your wits about you and not be a blubbering moron by the end of the night.

This works better in bars/clubs than parties. Having a good friend that you can make inside jokes with can make this easy, but you don't need it. You basically need to learn to have a sense of humor, the ability to see humor in situations.

In smaller quieter social situations where you can't afford to fuck up relations with strangers jokes interspersed with questions about them work well. Don't try.

Title	Social anxiety
Author	FPLWizard
Upvotes	3
Comments	9
Date	January 6, 2019 10:34 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/adarr7/social_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/social-anxiety.72761 https://theredarchive.com/post/72761

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