Stating intentions?

Mazz0 · 2015-02-24T16:25:45+00:00

My answer wont be popular but I state my intentions straight up, and pretty early on. I came out of a relationship a while ago and had some major oneitis... and it still kind of lingers. I'm not looking for a relationship right now, and I'm not going to waste someones time if they are looking for one. So, I straight up tell girls I meet that I just want to fuck.

Some run away and call me a pig, some end up feeling sorry for me, and some end up in my bed.

secret_barber · 2015-02-24T03:06:53+00:00

Avoid definitions, just be vague and dismissive of labels. "I enjoy dating." "Just interested in good times with good people." and so on.

SkorchZang · 2015-02-24T05:10:20+00:00

Most girls don't like it if you just hit them with "I'm only here to fuck you". She's fine with that if that's all you want and all, but she's not fine with it being said to her face. Because what does that make her? Right, a worthless slut.

So it's a lot better if you don't use straight talk like that, and stick to "powertalk": "I just really value my freedom and independence, not looking for anything super clingy at this point." If you say something along those lines, now she gets to think "wow, he's got other options besides me huh" and wonder "wait, am I clingy? hell no, I'm an independent womyn! I'll show him by fucking him crazy and pretending like I don't want anything more either! "

oldredder · 2015-02-24T06:31:38+00:00

SHOW intent more than STATE it. Stating it before showing it feels / looks lame. I guess it depends on the situation. You need to build some attraction & comfort before you state the intent out loud. Reason: her decision to go that far with you comes a fair bit after the decision to just be with you and get to know you a little. AIDA: attention, interest, decision, action.

asd1100 · 2015-02-24T07:23:54+00:00

How far is stating your intentions? I mean, when is it appropriate to tell her that you're just here to bang, friends with benefits, etc?

When she asks :)), what are we, what is this are burning questions in her mind, think of it as on the same level of intensity as our desire for sex.

At first(before you fuck and have breakfast) I use a more detached first person statement: I want a casual adult relationships without the social conditioning or emotional pressure.

When things get good I use the collective: we are adults, we are young, hot and we like enjoying one another's sexuality. There is nothing wrong with that.

If you sense your wishes diverge I come back to the first person sentence: At this point in my life I want my holidays to be enjoyable. Meeting parents and acting like a medieval goody good young couple is not anyone's idea of fun.

Title	Stating intentions?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	14
Date	February 24, 2015 2:40 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2wy1vg/stating_intentions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/stating-intentions.191889 https://theredarchive.com/post/191889

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