Since I became red-pill woke, I did my best to internalize this. It never helped me in matters of being in love with a woman. You can't have no oneitis if you're in love. Sure there's no (only) soul mate, sure that things go wrong too with that girl who you know for long, who also happens to be objectively so compatible and better in comparison to all other women you've met or you might know (as most women are shallow and boring) and even then things go wrong. It doesn't matter that "the one doesn't exist". That's obvious, but at the moment, she's the one for you and in comparison might still surpass all other women you meet. Trying to deny that only makes things worse and confuses you in that vulnerable condition: you want to prove her that you can remplace her, becoming co-dependent, living in her frame.

It's better to focus on your self dignity/honor/pride/whatever, on your non-negotiables. Even then it might be tragic to dump her or to stand up for yourself, but if you have any pride in you, you won't put up with her behavior. It would still feel bad in the case of a break-up, but so be it. Likewise, if you focus on your pride, grieving will make more sense.

I think that stop pedestalizing works for the most because viscerally passionate relationships are rare. Most get in love in that hoe over there, so the advice works for them. I'm not saying "especial girls" are not hypergamous, can't be machiavellian, become bitches or something like that. Besides, I'm not talking about relationships with quality girls. I'm taking about that kind of bonds which rarely happen, whatever the type of woman she is. Even then you should stand up for your self-dignity. Repeating that mantra... well, it didn't help, at least for me.

Besides, it's annoying to see clueless dudes repeating that term over and over again. Many of them are wanna' be tough stoics when they don't even know a damm about stoicism, but that's not the main point. I believe that in many instances, repeating the mantra of pedestalizing/oneitis is unhelpful. What do you think?