I've had oneitis for a girl for a year. I only saw her for 2 weeks and nothing physical happened between us. But I fell in love, couldn't help it. I've been with 3 girls since and I barely ever think of them. I think of her all the time.

Anyway, I've barely talked to this girl since. Like 7-8 messages, she was the one who reached out after 6 months of radio silence. But it was boring stuff, "what's up blabla". In december I told her there was a dinner with mutual friends that she hadn't been invited to, that she should go to since she'd be around (she lives abroad). I told her I wouldn't be there. She ignored it and a month later, mid january she replied with some excuse and asked how I was. I had already deleted her from facebook then.

I decided this shit had to stop and ignored the message invitation. It felt like a good decision at first. But lately I've felt like absolute shit. And a week ago, I answered her message, just giving her a heads up, and telling her I deleted her since we weren't talking. I don't why, but since then I feel a lot better and I've been thinking about her a lot less. I thought replying will just trigger even more oneitis but it has been the opposite. I think it's because by ignoring her although I didn't want to, I subconsciously gave her more importance because I was actively trying to deny what I truly felt and wasn't congruent. And since I've answered, I feel like a weight has been relieved of my shoulders, because the ball is in her camp now. If she doesn't answer, I'll never talk to her again but it's her decision, not mine. I'd rather be ghosted than ghost her, for some reason, it's easier.