I am somewhat of a conspiracy nut. And I believe certain personalities are drawn to that kind of thing. I feel like every time I learn something from the red pill I feel similar to the way I would feel if I just learned something new about the illuminati or what ever. My brain goes "ah hah Im on to your bullshit. You can't put your chains on me women you CAN'T PUT YOUR CHAINS ON ME YOU THOTS (illuminati lizard people in conspiracy world). This has led me to a place where I am to busy seeing every social interaction with a woman as an bit of a battle. I'm sceptical of their intentions. I've taken them off the pedestal and thrown them in a cage. Every word a woman says to me turns into "be my beta orbiter" in my brain. In my head I do battle with this and I become conflicted and end up clogged up inside my brain and so I have nothing to say. I do believe this comes from a place of low self esteem mixed with red pill knowledge. "why would they want to talk to me unless they want me to cuck to the there every whim.