I made a move on a girl and faced the "I can't handle being in a (sexual) relationship" type of rejection. I'm wondering if I a) waited too long and and b) wasn't assertive enough. The first night I asked her to hang out, I came over with alcohol and we smoked and drank and watched a movie, I didn't make a move this time. The weird thing is her friend was supposed to be there but once I got there it was just me and her because she apparantly didn't want to do the drugs her friend was doing (percs) that night. Was this her way of creating an opportunity with me while maintaining plausible deniability as to why the two of us were alone together? Nothing happened this night besides her showing me my horoscope (she showed me some things about what I should look for in a mate but it wasn't related to her or her horoscope).

Two nights later I hung out with her and a friend, my friend left quick when he realized I would have an easier time talking to her if he left. I laid down a few corny lines to show I liked her. She kind of started putting up defenses, suggesting thay she's incapable of a relationship because she has BPD. Whatever, I still sat close to her, and I think i kind of hesitated when I did finally make a move, like all I did was kind of touch her and she didn't pull away or say anything until I had my arm around her shoulder. That's when she basically told me she thought of me as a friend and that I'm not doing myself any favors by being attracted to her because she's incapable of having a normal relationship and that the things that make her attractive now would prove to be wrong later. Also claimed to have PTSD from a past encounter but I didn't really buy into that.

Do you think the first time was my real opportunity? Was I not assertive enough, not quick enough, or both? Or was her mind made up from the start?