I'm not gonna lie, I caught oneitis for a girl in my med school class this past month. I'm in my 30's and feel totally fucking disgusted with myself for still falling under the spell of a crush. I feel like I should be way past this point. I am well versed with red pill literature, and plenty of other literature regarding being self-reliant, "filling one's own cup" with positive emotions etc.

But apparently I am still not immune to the occassional grade-school feeling crush. I know it's pathetic, and even more importantly it's just ineffective and a huge mental energy waster. I get all this, logically, but I still to this day have a vastly difficult time internalizing these things.

I know that unicorns don't exist, that all women are majorly flawed in certain ways, that they all hold the potential to completely screw a guy over and exhibit nasty, self-centered behaviors. However I think we'd all agree that once in a while, you meet a chick that just ticks off every single one of your check boxes (smart, funny, caring, interesting, shares a bounty of similar interests as you etc). These are the ones that admittedly leave me with major butthurt pangs if they don't end up digging me back. As many girls as I interact with, I simply don't meet too many who match with everything I'm looking for.

I know some of you are gonna say go fuck ten other women. But that doesn't really get to the heart of this problem imo. I couldn't give two shits if some bar slut/thot likes me back, or if I ever hear from her again after a hookup. They are a dime a dozen and totally replaceable. It's this other type of girl who gets under my skin, who gets me feeling like "we are meant to be together" (which I know is my own mind deceiving itself).

GFTOW is a surface level solution at best. I am interested in how to go about solving the deeper issue, the concept of needing someone or anything outside of yourself for validation and contentedness.

For those of you who have actually managed to rise above ever falling into the trap of crushy obsessive feelings for women, how exactly did you do this? Do you re-read certain TRP and/or other pieces of writing? Has meditation helped with this? Does simply fucking a bunch of random hoes actually keep your mind from crushing on any women ever? Even the ones you find to be especially awesome? I don't ever want to fall into this bullshit state of mind again, it's just a huge drain and I end up feeling like a chode in the end.

Advice is much appreciated. Thanks.