Why Does Breaking Up Suck?

SkorchZang · 2017-05-10T07:34:23+00:00

It's kinda funny - this is what always happens to the side that got broken up with. Their ego gets surprisingly hurt. The active breaker-upper is always in a much better place, emotionally, and can even be smug about it; you'd think it should be equal - after all you wanted this yourself just a week back...But it isn't equal at all.

This is the big reason why girls HATE being broken up with, and will do anything to break up with you first before that happens. Or, con you with tales of eternal love to get back together with you, only to break up with you themselves. By default, the emotional crybaby stuff all flows to the party that was broken up with, it's like a law of physics.

Got two things that may help you:

Out of sight, out of mind. Old adage is true. Remove everything that triggers thoughts about her or gives you fresh info about her.
The feelings are yours to feel them through. It's completely pointless to lock them away or pretend you're above having feelings over some girl you wanted to break up with yourself. The key is to not act out on it, don't vent it too much (a little with a good male friend is fine). Instead just sit down somewhere alone and take the time to feel your feelings one by one. Forget trying to find solutions or theories about them, just courageously feel the shit feeling all the way to its end without trying to stop the shittiness of it or protect yourself from it, at all. Your recovery process will be greatly speeded up.

99darius · 2017-05-10T07:20:12+00:00

If you let it hold power over you it can take years... give it time. In some respects breakups never fully heal. Just be thankful for the time you had with this amazing person and then move on. There's gonna be a lot of poor advice given in here but the best thing you can do is allow yourself to heal naturally and cut your ties from her.

You also need to deeply internalize the fact that she broke up with you, for whatever reason this person has decided to move forward with their lives without you in it. Address those reasons and use it to better yourself.

When I was dumped by the girl I thought I would marry I was a WRECK! But soon after I fell in love with the process of healing and becoming a better me and it took a few months but I became an absolute dog with women.. which in turn brought me little happiness in itself but that's a whole different subject...

It's gonna be hard, sometimes excruciatingly so, but you gonna be alright my brother. This break up is a GIFT! Like all lessons in life.

djdonny · 2017-05-10T07:21:33+00:00

Dude your human take some time to let it process you were dating the same girl for over 450 days. Nothing is stopping you from reconnecting with old mates and there will alwayd be new ones. This couldnt have happened at a better time.

Youre single for the summer. Get out and smash some new tail and youll start to feel better. But the usual applies remove her presence so it doesnt loom over you.

TheRedStoic · 2017-05-10T19:51:05+00:00

Why does breaking up suck?

Because breaking habits sucks. The limbic brain needs dopamine and needs it right fucking now.

How do you get over it?

Don't just cut out bad habits, replace them. Replace the satisfaction with something else. Simply dropping your dopamine levels to nothing won't work for 99.7% of people.

If you drop a girl pick up another. If you drop a hobby replace it. If you drop anything bringing your satisfaction, replace it with something else that'll bring you satisfaction.

redaftrp · 2017-05-10T13:29:01+00:00

Because you're emotionally invested, did she break up with you, or did you end it?

HardPuns · 2017-05-10T07:19:35+00:00

Because you realise that you have no game and you won't get sex soon because you got confortable and let yourself go.

What you want is to be confortable.

Also, existencial lonelyness. You are going to die alone alone and you're afraid, so you get a girl.

Sex and lonelyness.

Title	Why Does Breaking Up Suck?
Author	BKLager
Upvotes	2
Comments	12
Date	May 10, 2017 7:14 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6abaiv/why_does_breaking_up_suck/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/why-does-breaking-up-suck.90884 https://theredarchive.com/post/90884

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