A while back I made this post ---> https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3mw6ag/26_just_out_of_8_years_relationship_help/

Though´t I would do a little update.

My life has changed so much that it is incredible. The shock of being dumped was enough for me to finally get the desire to change some things about myself that I think I would never have otherwise. But I definitely would not have done any improvement if I had not had two things;

1: This subreddit

2: A newfound belief in myself and that I would be able to become a better person with much more chance of getting girls and bettering myself (much of that belief came from reading stuff on this subreddit)

So what has happened since the breakup is that I have been to the gym 6 times a week and have already put on 7kg. I was skinny as fuck, 56 kilograms! Now I am 63 and I am just starting, I am in this for the long term. I eat so much more than I did before.

I stopped smoking weed. I realize that the breakup was not only her fault, even though in the end she started cheating emotionally and its hard to forgive her for that, I had been a lazy stoner and a every day smoker for 5 years straight. It is now day 25 since I threw away all my weed related stuff and have not had a single toke since. That is an absolute miracle for someone like me who thought that I would be a stoner until I died. I was completely hooked.

I haven´t hooked up with many girls, just 3 since the breakup, and out of those 3 only one was a hot blond with a great body. The others that came before I just fucked because I needed to know that I am able to go out and fuck random strangers after all this time in a loyal relationship.

I feel a thousand times better now than I did a few months back, even though of course I am not still completely over her, and I think I won´t be for a while. After all 8 years is a pretty big chunk of a 26 year old´s life.

I have stayed in no contact since maybe 3 weeks after the breakup (I didn´t know about the NC rule until then and unfortunately sent her some emails maybe once a week trying to "understand" what happened.) So about 3 months of no contact now. When she broke up with me, she was in a different country and had started to date a guy behind my back maybe a week before she dumped me over skype. She came back home in the middle of December and soon after she sent me an email asking to meet up and "discuss things". I waited for a few days (just to show her I am not waiting desperately for contact) and then I had to send her a reply because she has some things that I own and needed back. I answered with a very short letter, asked her to leave my stuff at my friends house and told her that "we are not going to meet and I know you will understand that." She replied IMMEDIATELY and was pretty pissed that I didn´t want to meet up. She said that we were probably going to bump into each other (we live in a very small community) and if that´s what I would prefer. I just answered that I wasn´t afraid of her, I just had nothing to talk to her about. She has sent me another email after that and also a text message on christmas eve asking if I wanted to come by and pick up my suit. I didn´t answer. I am starting to hear from our common friends that she is regretting dumping me and feels very alone. I must admit that it makes me feel pretty good as all my friends are constantly congratulating me on gaining muscle, and most especially for quitting weed and becoming much, much more social. If somebody asks me to hang out or come to a party I now ALWAYS say yes and come with a big smile and a bottle of gin to share.

I wrote this post for others who might be just out of a relationship. I am now almost 4 months into being single. The pain is still there, but I have gotten SO MUCH DONE by not stalking her and focusing my pain and anger on the weights at the gym. I get alot of pats on the back at work because I meditate and try to be with my mind 100% on the job at hand when I am at work and they are noticing.

If you just got dumped, know that the pain will be there for a long time, but you can choose to use it for your betterment. Read this thread, it helped me ALOT and I read it every other day because it really helps with getting into the right mindset for life in general.

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/k7y2h/how_i_rebuilt_myself/

Thank you so much seddit. Because of you guys, and because I now believe in myself again, I will survive. And I will (and already am) become a 100 times better person than I was in the relationship when I was a needy, dependent little bitch. I love life now.

Any advice is still very welcome. I have learned so much so far, but I´m not pulling as many girls as I like. I have absolutely no fear of opening or approaching, but I work out in the country alot (I climb radio towers) and that means that I get few opportunities to meet girls. And so much seems to happen online, which I suck at.

Anywho, thanks again.