I have had 50 + lays over the last few years. Today i am lonely and in a dry spell for many months. Before this dry period i did not know about this game community. I just watched other people and followed my own instincts, confidence and looks. After a series of failures i understood that i need to start again from 0 and this is how i found this community that has been of tremendous help for me. Before finding this community it felt sometimes that my life is totally over.

There is one thing that i have not yet so far found a lot of support. This one thing is actually the reason why i started failing with women, being either anxious around them, or pushy. All ending up with a lot of suffering.

There was almost one commonality between all my failures. That was that i would completely block if there is another guy watching closely my interaction with the girl. Either out of jealousy or curiosity, but always if felt it is done in a non supportive way. This was leading to anxiety-lose of confidence-neediness-or pushiness and then being dropped by the girl in instant. The same girl that was just so into me. So from 80 percent confidence when i am alone with her, to 10.

The usual advice of just be yourself and do your thing, if that would be so easy i would already do it. IT IS NOT. It is a huge blocage that feels sometimes stronger then me- and i consider myself a strong person.

I think working on myself will solve that along the way. Still curious about what can be the origin of such a pattern and how to cope?