Advice for better 1v1 conversations?

Pit_Sweat · 2015-02-04T21:20:13+00:00

Sometimes it works and we get on a topic we are both passionate about and start vibing

That's it. Your job is to find a topic that:

You're both interested in and passionate about
She's passionate about, but you know enough about it to vibe with her and keep her going.
She's passionate about, and you know nothing, but are genuinely interested in the topic and have real questions to ask her about it to keep her going.
You're passionate about, and she's interested enough to ask you more about.

That's in order from best case scenario to worst case scenario. How do you accomplish this? By branching your conversations and continuously calibrating based on her reactions and overall body language.

You branch by taking something that she said, extracting all possible topics from that, and picking one to ask about. Lengthy videos have been made about this subject so if you don't know what it is you should look it up.

You calibrate by gauging her reaction to what you both are talking about. If she's talking about work and she seems bored out of her mind, then change the topic entirely. Don't ask about her boss or what she likes best about what she does. Ask about her cat or her workout routine or her favorite character in Game of Thrones instead.

Here are some general things to keep in mind:

Yes, it's your responsibility to make the conversation fun. If you're trying to engage her, then you should be the one putting in most of the effort.
But putting in effort doesn't mean doing all the talking. It's not how much you talk but rather the emotions and feelings that are being exchanged between you two. You called it "vibing."
You should know this but ask open ended questions, not interview questions. If you feel yourself going into interview mode, slow down and give her a chance to elaborate before you fire off your next question.
It's also about how you create comfort through your body language. No one is going to enjoy talking to you if you make them feel nervous, even if it's about something they're passionate about. Make sure you appear relaxed and comfortable in your own skin, as if you're talking to a close friend.
Finally, know that it's not going to work with everybody. There will always be girls (some who are extremely attractive) that you just won't vibe with no matter how much you try. Whether it's because you have nothing in common or she's not attracted to you or she's in a bad mood or she's black out drunk, you'll never know. Don't beat yourself up over failed conversations.

lofiharvest · 2015-02-05T00:13:56+00:00

Body language is important when making first contact with ANYONE.

Some body language tips

Smile - not too big of a smile though. Sometimes a little smirk is just what the doctor ordered
Eye contact - Keep good eye contact with the person. I would advise against the whole 'you have to hold eye contact until they break it first method. This can be perceived as being "creepy" to some folks. 5 - 7 seconds eye contact is a pretty good target to aim for.
Good posture
Open body language - Don't cross your arms,etc
Kino or physical touching - I use this on everyone now from my parents, to friends, to dates.

I know you asked about 1v1 conversation tips but I find that the body language is often off with people that struggle with conversation. If you give off the wrong vibe then you are going to struggle no matter how skilled a conversationalist you are. Now if you got that nailed down already I would read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie. Also just practice chatting up random people everywhere you go (at the market, gas station, cafe, etc). For awhile I used to have this game where I would go places and would only win if I could make the person smile or laugh. If you feel that your conversations feel forced than it sounds like you need to practice more. Fake it till you make it my friend.

nati691810 · 2015-02-04T21:30:11+00:00

For that I can advice you this. Friends are people you have common things with, such as favourite movies, activities, etc'. With guys that's usually sports and video games.

For start I would just talk to random people about everything. You are on the bus next to someone that looks nice? Time for chit chat.

Also it's important to include humor and change subjects every once in a while. If you talk about X and you see the girl has not intrest in X just change subjects.

Don't be nervous, try to have fun. Worst case cenerio, you don't even know this girl so what do u care what she thinks of you.

mk33401 · 2015-02-11T15:57:14+00:00

Look up "conversation threading". Essentially everything somebody says is a jump-off point for another topic to discuss.

For example:

You ask a girl "what did you do last night?" and she replies "not much just watched netflix". Instead of saying something like "oh that's cool" you can keep the convo naturally flowing by discussing favorite movies, tv shows, what she watched, ect., and turn one question into a long discussion.

cudder17 · 2015-02-04T21:07:52+00:00

If you win the convo make sure you say

gg no re

Big_TX · 2015-02-04T21:35:30+00:00

My BIGEST tip is volunteer more information! Especially in the beginning. If a girl asks how are u doing? You say "good I did x and x (which was cool) and x. Now even if she does not have w jumping off point, she (usualy) will give more infromation because that is just the way this conversation works.

Do t just state facts. You have to be some what intrested in Bering your self talk.

RSD tyler have a good one video on "the million doler mouth peace" pimps invented it. It is where you talk like what you are saying is realy intresting if u pull it off it works very well.

RSD Julen talks about different "frequencies" so you have the way you usualy talk. Then if you get realy serious for a moment that's another one. Then you talk excited. That's another.

Multiple frequencies realy makes people more engaged.

Title	Advice for better 1v1 conversations?
Author	guidegoods
Upvotes	22
Comments	10
Date	February 4, 2015 6:28 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2us2l9/advice_for_better_1v1_conversations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/advice-for-better-1v1-conversations.1383442 https://theredarchive.com/post/1383442

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