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[–]Ravnurin 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
It is only weird if you believe it to be weird - which you have inadvertently stated by agreeing with her. It is not weird at all. Only important factor to consider about age is whether or not she is of legal age. That's it! Nothing more.
If you're attracted to her, why should age get in the way of you pursuing her?
When a girl throws you a curve ball, in this case being age related, you just deflate it with humour or ignore the emphasis she is putting on it. E.g. "I think it's super weird if we dated cus you're like 12 yrs older than me n all..." , "haha, I know right! Anyways, I know this pretty sweet bar/place I've been meaning to check out, but been wanting to take a cute girl with me, so what do ya think..this Saturday, say 7.13pm?"
Often times a girl will only throw you these kind of curve balls when they're getting attracted to you, that is why I'm throwing in the date suggestion at the end, as you want to push the interaction in the direction of a date when she is attracted.
Again, age differences mean nothing. I've been with plenty of women nearly twice my age, and I'm only 5 years younger than you. Most all of them gave me some "Oh but you're like a kid" kind of test, but just deflate it with humour.
[–]ent0 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Thanks man! I'll throw her an invitation to a concert when she replies my message next time!
[–]Ravnurin 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
That's what I like to hear, buddy! Always give it a shot before walking away from the situation. You are awesome man - see yourself as the million dollar prize that any woman would cherish to have.
If you ever need any advice or anything, feel free to drop me a message whenever.
[–]ent0 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks a lot man! Really appreciate it, and will definite ask for more advice!
[–]ent0 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hey! So she and I actually went to a concert a couple of days ago. Well, she brought her best friend with her too, so there was that. We exchanged a couple of messages, talking about music, both the music that night and my music. It seems that she' not too interested on this topic. And it took her about 16 hours to write back to me. So what shall I do now? I'm thinking of maybe ignoring her for a while, then ask her out again. Or maybe I shall just ask her out right away?
[–]Ravnurin 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Awesome job, mate! Glad to see you took action.
The way I see it is there's two reasons she brought her friend: A) She didn't think it was a date but a hang out, or B) her friend was there as a 'chickie buffer'...a chickie buffer is basically a friend she takes with her in case the guy turns out to be a total weirdo/creep.
Either way, it's annoying when it happens without your knowing. Next time I would make it a point she comes by herself, but in a humorous way, e.g. "Btw this time let's leave our bodyguards back home ey ;-)".
Text her when you feel like it...be it today or tomorrow, and when you do text her, do try and set up a date in the same interaction - a date within the next few days.
For future references I would avoid getting into rapport over text and rather save that type of conversation for in-person. Use texting as a mean of keeping or getting her attracted to you...best way to do that is by having silly conversation(think 5th grader humour). Makes her laugh and interested and more engaged in your conversation; she should be all giggly and excited to see your name on a text wondering what on Earth you're writing to her this time!
I recommend you read my blog post on texting basics here... http://socialmasteryrb.blogspot.co.uk/2015/09/texting-basics.html?m=1
I don't cover WHAT to write in there, but still a lot of invaluable tips and mindsets to have.
Here's the guidelines I follow on re-engagement texting...
Send her re-engagement texts two days on a row at most. If no response, wait 1 full day.
Send her re-engagement texts two days on a row at most. If no response, wait 2 full days. (Repeat this section 2x times).
Send her re-engagement texts two days on a row at most. If no response, wait 1 full week. (Go back to first step.)
Your re-engagement text should be fun and/or flirty. It can either pose her a direct question (direct question) or indirectly (in form of ellipsis, '...'). It can also just not even ask her a question at all, just be a funny thing you're writing to her. The content can be made up or real.
Here are some of my favourite re-engagement texts:
"Can you please stop thinking about me? I saw this documentary the other day and they totally said that if you get sudden thoughts about someone, it's because that person is thinking about you. And my mind is just full of you right now!"
"So here I was just minding my own business, when this random stray cat jumped out of nowhere and dropped me a dead bird...what's up with that?! Am I supposed to be complimented or something? Lol"
"How's my 3rd favourite brat doing today? :)"
"OMG! I totally just met your twin, and she was staring me up and down like I was some free cupcake! Lol"
As you can see, the texts I send are very 'out there'. They are great at provoking a strong positive response from the girl as it's just so different and some of it very ballsy a thing to say. Strive to say anything but the usual chit-chat topics. You
Thanks a lot. I think my exact problem is that I show neediness in my texts.
I just replied her with a short text, 'cause I wanted to be polite to her and answer one of the things she mentioned in her previous text. But I wrote it with a blant tone (to not show neediness), and in the text I also mentioned another girl's amusement when I was rehearsing my new song (in a blant tone as well, but hopefully to imply my lyric writing skill).
She's going to perform at a small concert this weekend. I'm struggling to decide whether I shall go, and whether I shall mention it. I mean, if I go, I'd definitely at least speak a little to her. But it's her concert, so there will be her friends and everything, I may end up awkwardly sitting aside while she chatters with her close friends. But then, asking about the concert and going there guarantees our next meet. And if things go well, I may become more accquinted with her friends.
I guess I'd like to talk to her about the concert. Maybe first ask her about what she's planning to impress the audience, just to work her a little that she has to demonstrate what she can offer? Then casually mention that I may happen to be around in the city where she live that day, and may drop by? What do you think?
[–]briberylh2 points 10 years ago [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link
Age is just a number however let us see some things:
If she is 18 and you are 30 then it might be a little weird for her, and honestly for you as well.
If she is 25 and you are 37 I see no problem at all, I see it happen all the time and it is not supposed to be weird, however some peoplke just can't go more than a couple of years up or down.
If you are 25 then I don't need to tell you that it is weird...
I guess what I am trying to say is, age difference doesn't matter that much until it starts to matter, I know its not helpful at all but it's the truth. And if it is bothering her then I guess you should move on, it would be the best for you.
[–]ent0 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Thanks. She's 18 and I'm 30. I just told her that I'm cool with it and respect her decision and feelings. I will still like to be a friend though, since she's a good person.
[–]briberylh1 points 10 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
As long you think you can do that, some guys cannot have a friendship, they'll get jealous and then ruin the friendship.
If you honestly think you can still see her with other guys without getting hurt yourself then go for it, ask her to do stuff you like, or join in in something that she likes. Try to be a part of her circle of friends and do the same thing with her, introduce her to your friends
Thanks a lot! Good advice! (I think I'll get a little jealous and may get hurt a little too, but that'll be fine. I can handle it.)
[–]briberylh2 points 10 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Just remember she may be an amazing person, but you come in first place. If at any point you can't take it you have the right to step away at any point. I've seen many people "sacrificing" themselves and in the end having grudges.
Thanks a lot! That's some golden advice!
[–]letsgetrandy 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I just told her that I'm cool with it and respect her decision and feelings.
You just validated her initial fears.
I will still like to be a friend though, since she's a good person.
So is it weird for a 30-year-old male to be romantically involved with an 18-year-old female, but somehow not weird for those same two people to be friends?
What exactly makes one different from the other?
[–]ent0 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the waking up call. I'm going to respond to both of your comments here.
No, it wasn't weird before she knew my age. She was kinda passionate about the date. She was apologetic about being late and slow at responding, and about too busy to make a date happen at the time, but was very enthusiastic about having the date next week (at that time) and was looking forward to it.
How can I fix the situation? She just wrote back to me saying that I'm a very nice person, and told me a little bit about what's she's been doing in the past couple of days. And she said sorry again for replying slowly.
I'm thinking about asking her out to a concert on FB. It's not exactly asking out, since she has RSVPed 'going' to that concert. But I thought it would be better if I ask her so we'd go together? But I'm thinking of dropping the word 'date' when asking her out, just to make it a bit more casual.
What do you think?
[–]letsgetrandy 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How can I fix the situation?
Honestly, once it's fucked, it usually stays that way. But I guess you could arrange to hang out, maybe at that concert or something, and then try making some moves on her. May not work out, but at least then you'll know.
Thanks. I'm doing that now. We are going to the same concert on Monday, so we'll see. Thanks a lot man!
[–]DaygameCoach 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You don't. she has LJBF'd (let's just be friends) you. I'd cut it completely (you could tell her that friends just isn't how you see her) and move on, so you don't wind up with oneitis--you aren't truly seeing her as a friend.
Age may have been a problem with her, but may not be a problem with other women her age if you are confident, don't have self limiting beliefs about age, and deal with shit tests (real the sidebar help) well. For some women, 12 years is a lot and for some it is not.
BTW, if you are talking age 30 to her 18...that can be quite a stretch. 42 to 30, not as much for some women.
Thanks! I'll read shit tests now!
[–]letsgetrandy 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
she thinks it's weird for her to go out with a guy who's 12 years older than her
Was it weird before she knew your age? How does the knowledge of an arbitrary number suddenly change anything?
which I completely understand
Really? Then explain it to me, because I don't understand why that's a problem.
And she wrote it in a nice and polite manner, which I respect.
You're seriously acting like a pussy, bro. Stop being such a pushover and start being honest with yourself and others.
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[–]Ravnurin 2 points3 points4 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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[–]briberylh2 points [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link
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[–]DaygameCoach 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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