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[–]NormalFemale 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
I disagree respectfully. I am attractive and have dated both, men that are also quite attractive and men that are more average.
This is what I have found :
Men that are quite attractive. These men are alluring, yes, of course, but they never seem to be the committed monogamous type men. If I am in the mood for such fun, I will definitely be receptive to a very handsome man but that's all. I have no doubt in my mind that he will move onto the next woman quite quickly and have been proved right on this point several times.
Men that are more average. These men I don't generally notice right away, they tend to notice me first. But when they approach me and we get talking, sometimes,( not always) I will notice something attractive about them, a smile, their eyes, intelligence, personality, a great body trumps alot. Anyways, these are always the men that I have had long term relationships with. They are more stable and better partners.
Keep it up men. Don't be intimated by the beautiful women around you, they are looking for the same thing you are.
[–]alec5280 7 years ago* [recovered] (14 children) | Copy Link
You make some assumptions and gross generalizations, but I believe your heart is in the right place.
[–]NormalFemale 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
I know that I made assumptions, I apologize for that. I was just trying to make a point. That this league the OP speaks of only exists in people's minds. Whether they choose to break free of this league and just be comfortable in their own skin, well, that's the most attractive thing in the world, confidence in who you are, regardless of your physical attributes.
I'm often told that I am out of their league and I don't like that bc some women are not shallow, some actually want more than just looks. But yes, it would be very cool to have both, a very handsome man who is monogamous and committed, intelligent, everything! I would think I won the lottery! Lol
[–]alec5280 7 years ago* [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link
I agree. The OP must not got outside, because every day I see women (some of them fairly attractive) with guys who aren't at their level of physical attractiveness. Half the time I wonder how the hell they met.
For casual sex and one-night stands women do raise their standards, but they lower those standards for relationships.
This, btw, is the exact opposite of what men do. We tend to lower our standards for casual sex and raise them for relationships.
[–]NormalFemale 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Oh, really? I never knew that these standards were so different for men and women. I always thought they were the same.
[–]alec5280 7 years ago* [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
It's a tabloid, but it refers to a study that backs up what I say: When looking for casual sex, women raise their physical standards, whereas men lower theirs. I've seen similar results elsewhere.
[–]NormalFemale 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Interesting. Doesn't this create a social situation then? Where the very attractive men can get copious quantities of sex?
And if this is true, then my personal observations of overly handsome men would be very close to being correct. Although, like I said before, every has the choice to break out of their molds. So not every handsome man is like that. But this article seems to confirm that.
[–]alec5280 7 years ago* [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. It gives rise to the 80-20 hypothesis, which says that "80 percent of women pursue the top 20 percent of men".
I don't necessarily agree with the 80-20 "rule", but I do think that the most physically attractive men are definitely in higher demand when it comes to casual sex.
[–]NormalFemale 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Then here's a question for you.
How often does a man think differently about a women that he happened to have casual sex with? Is it black and white for men? No emotions, walk away. Or do they think, wow, she was actually more than I thought she would be..
I often wonder this bc I don't successfully have casual encounters afterwards. I am too mushy emotionally, so if something was really good, I want more (and not just physically).
Do men feel the same?
[–]alec5280 7 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I think men are much better than women at compartmentalizing their emotions and sex. I think this is even more true if a guy has casual sex with a woman he isn't really attracted to. Remember, men lower their standards for casual sex and raise them for relationships.
However, I can't generalize everyone. I've known some guys who ended up in relationships with women they had a one-night stand with. It can happen.
[–]NormalFemale2 points 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I will remember this if I ever decide to do that again, which I don't think I will bc the physical gain doesn't balance out with the emotional losses for me.
Thank you for answering honestly. I enjoy talking to men, they are honest, blunt and up front. I find talking to women is like walking on glass and men is like going for a run on the dirt. Lol, it's refreshing.
[–][deleted] 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
Mid 40s. Why? How old are you?
[–][deleted] 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NormalFemale 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh. I see. Maybe date someone that's 30 then, no one can tell you not too.
And I've been to New York. I loved it. I'm going back.
[–]ComplexProjection 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I love how it is litteraly written « I get D from alphas and commitment from betas ». But hey, keep trying betas!
Hahaha, I was not saying that! Now you've just started an entirely whole new discussion!
I just got out of a relationship last year with an Alpha man that was very average looking, but also very controlling. I was talking about looks, not Alpha or Beta!
But if you must start this conversation... I find a man with a bit of both, Alpha and Beta is the perfect mix.
[–]Not_My_Real_Acct_ 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
if a woman knows she can do better than you, she'll look elsewhere- for the guy who has all of those personalty "qualities" you have- only better looking than you.
I've generally found that when women 'trade up' it is for money, not looks. I am wealthy and I've had tons of ex-gfs who have made it clear that they'd kick their husband to the curb because he didn't make as much as I do. That sucks, but that's how the world works.
It isn't a popular thing to acknowledge, but most women love money, or they love a man with money.
[–]Not_My_Real_Acct_ 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm on a mailing list with a bunch of single moms, and it's painful how obsessed they are with money. Literally 75% of the posts are about:
1) they want more money from their ex
2) they want people to come do shit for them for free (work on their car, work on their home, do their taxes...)
Never even once have I seen one of them complain about a man's looks, or his dick, or how he fucks. It's just MONEY MONEY MONEY
I agree. And it seems to get worse the older women get.
It was supposed to be that making their own money would allow women to date and/or marry anyone they wanted, the Wall Street exec or the carpenter. However, the more money a woman makes, and the higher her educational attainment, the smaller her pool of potential spouses gets, mainly because she doesn't want to have a serious relationship with a man who makes substantially less money than her.
For men, its the reverse -- the more money and education a man has, the larger his pool of potential spouses/girlfriends gets.
[–]NormalFemale 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is true, partially. When a woman gets to the point in life where she is self sufficient, she begins developing the same fears as men. So she is wary of the men that make substantially lower incomes bc she is afraid of being taken to the cleaners for everything she has worked so hard for.
But of course, there is always the Sugar Mommas as well as Sugar Daddys, but I truly believe this is bc they have nothing else going for them except money.
[–]hunterpua 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you want to be a great boxer, would you take advice from a boxer who only does it casually and only has a handful of wins under his belt?
You're just saying things without explaining the reason behind the things you're saying.
Who are you to try to position yourself as someone who has any meaningful authority when it comes to dating?
You don't take cooking advice from someone who can only "cook" instant noodles.
So...if you have any evidence to support your claims let us know, if you don't, you're out of your league here buddy.
Lol, cooking noodles!!
[–]odonien 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
There are no leagues. Why would you restrict yourself?
Exactly! Leagues are only what people make up in their minds. Confidence is real
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[–]NormalFemale 4 points5 points6 points (18 children) | Copy Link
[–]alec5280 [recovered] (14 children) | Copy Link
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[–]alec5280 [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link
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[–]NormalFemale 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]alec5280 [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NormalFemale2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
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[–]NormalFemale 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]NormalFemale 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NormalFemale 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ComplexProjection 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]NormalFemale 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NormalFemale 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Not_My_Real_Acct_ 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]alec5280 [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Not_My_Real_Acct_ 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]alec5280 [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NormalFemale 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]NormalFemale 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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