I'm literally bummed tf out because I came to this realization and now realize that I missed out on a lot of opportunities. I was talking with my family, and my mom and sister were laughing about how all the girls were chasing me back in High School. I was literally like uh.... what are you talking about? I thought I got some opportunities because some girls asked me out but that was it to me. They weren't even aware of that since I hid it b/c my family is religious, so I thought they were talking out of their ass. Especially since I'm an average looking dude so to me, it made sense that I wouldn't get chicks.

But then I went back to think about it and things clicked. Ngl I was fucking angry dude. All the times when girls would give compliments, initiate conversation, get close etc. I thought it was just them being nice because I was raised around women my whole life and those are all signals of being nice and friendly. Like they mention IOIs here. Use them, and still assume attraction and approach at all times. The lack of ability to receive IOIs and take risks is what creates incels. Like dead ass. Wtf dude. Like if you don't look like 3/10 or under, if you can approach and not be sperg and learn to stay in the discomfort, you're good. Even spergs can do it, but it takes an obsession in learning how to fake human emotion. You just need to test out the social puzzle, and wiggle your way out of your barrier, which is hard af to do. Think of it as a self-recovering barrier. You need to keep hitting it until it breaks. If you're just about to break it and stop, it'll recover and you'll forever be blind.

Anyways, what's fucked up is my emotional cluelessness lead girls to chase even more because it came off as me not being needy when I was literally just retarded. When someone told me about a girl who said she found my body hot or some other compliment, I thought that they were making fun of me or trying to manipulate me, when that girl ACTUALLY THOUGHT THAT, but I didn't have self-esteem. Shit is fucked man. I lived in a cocktail of ignorance and insecurity. My mom even told me in another convo how I was naive af and overly nice and how she didn't want me to become bad. Like fml dude. I'm happy I can change for the future, but reality is fucked up. Like yeah maybe not everyone was abused, but the way you're raised can ruin how you perceive reality and literally create walls around you that you're not even aware of. Like wtf. I couldn't even do anything to change that shit because I was living in that reality around a family that pushed that narrative.

So now, I realize approach and see. Fuck logic. It doesn't work. I kid you not. Like yeah DHVs and SMV and all that shit helps, but that shit is natural shit you're supposed to do. Like learn them and incorporate them, as it lets you pick them up faster than you would intuitively (in which case you might be 50-60 by the age you pick up these skills, where itll be maybe too late). Then, who vibes will vibe, and who doesn't can fuck off. Straight up. It's coming full circle for me. Insecurity and Ignorance are the main causes for failure. Looks/status/experience/social increase the receptivity. People you first meet will be cold and distant. There's nothing wrong with you. People are just poorly raised. There will be people who act in an illogical way. That doesn't matter. Like probably only 1/100 have those values that you'd want in a legit friend you could trust with your life and is empathetic and shit and self-aware and is respectful without being the "nice guy", just a straight up good person.

As a bonus tip, DON'T TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED, TREAT THEM HOW THEY WANTED TO BE TREATED, as long as it's not crossing a boundary of yours. If someone thinks they're hot shit, unless they're your boss (even then), they'll like you if you butter them up, but that's taking away from you. But in comparison, if someone is a hypeman, talking to them about their interests and learning where they came from (empathy), will allow you to get them to do what you want because you know where they're coming from. It's literally a mindfuck. And if their life experience leads them to want something from you which compromises your values or is burdensome for you, then fuck em. Reality is a rollercoaster man.