Posted this on r/ihaveissues as well.Just made my account and stumbled across this and Hopefully someone can relate.

MY issue here is trust. I am 24, male, virgin (doesn't really bother me though. Will come soon.) no relationship; ever, and have issues with male and female friends. (not bi is anyone was wondering.) So my issue here is that I get pretty scared around people. There is a tight feeling that appears in my chest and I then talk really, really fast and just kinda dip. Did I always have this feeling? No. Do you know how this develop? I would say its the fucked up relationship I've had with my mom. Shes bi-polor and that's been a big factor. She forced me into work when I was 15 (I got my first job at 14. It was part time but when I turned 15 she forced me into 60 hour week while I was in high school.) I don't want to say she brain washed me, because I had my doubts how she wanted to handle her problems. The reason why she forced me into that was finances and health. She wasn't in serious danger but my sister had ulcerative colitis (crones disease) and nearly died. I had no issue busting my ass for my sister but have cut off ties with her because she thinks, recently said this to me, I'm a good for nothing, lazy ass, I've never done anything for her (might I add I paid OUT THE ASS for her to get her freshman year set up. We were sooooo broke) stupid ass, blah, blah blah. So I took that as a giant fuck you, I know you helped me out sooooo much but that isn't any reason to help you with nothing in the future. The school I went to knew what was going on and I should have failed out of school. I was hardly there and when I was I was sleeping. Mentally I was a pussy ten. Kinda am now still, but not as much. But the verbal abuse was ruthless. I want to try and forget it all because, well I would never say this to my children, ever! But whenever I wanted to keep a little bit of money, usually around just 50 bucks when I was giving about 1200 a month, shit like "how come it's less this month? Why are you stealing from me?" Both said that. They sometime ruffled through my stuff and wallet. "why is there a 20 dollar bill in your wallet?" But whenever they found out I was hanging out with friends "you should be at work" "we need more money" "so we're not a good family to you? Go live with your new family then." I felt like a shitty baseball card that could be traded for nothing. 2 years ago she claimed me as a dependent so she could get my tax refund of 2,000 dollars to. But times are better now. I still talk to my mom because she kinda got a look from my point of view but still says I was the bigger asshole. Very little to my sister but say hi and get updates. But they're other events that good friends fucked me which makes me nervous around meeting new people. One had a felony put on me for something he did, one girl got me a drug charge (but complications from my end and the courts end make it get dropped). I've attempted to shake this "fear" off but with zero success. Now I am hearing rumors that I may be gay because I never attempt to hook up with women or even try to get their phone number. Heard one that I'm crazy because I rarely leave the house. I have no morals because I rarely speak. Plus more to be added eventually I bet. But I can't shake it. I make an attempt and I flake. I try to converse with a guy to make a new friend, I appear as an asshole because I show little interest. I try to meet women at a cafe, party, bar, ect. I'll admit, I have little social skills with women, but half the time I think they're fucking with me, want to use me for something, scared that she may treat me like my mom and sister did and that it's more likely because they're a stranger. In this process I've decided to lose 100 pounds (gained some back, was 340. Went down to 240. At 276 now.) move into a new town with my brothers (Radford, Va). I plan to start school soon but I was trying to make my way as a boxer where I previously lived (McLean, Va) for my future life, few pros I met said I had potential. Always have had an interest and said fuck it after the felony charge (null processed btw) and the drug charged (dropped) and pursue my dream but develop the back up plan in school. But I feel like that weak kid inside still. The inside of me hasn't caught up with the outside yet. I've been trying to but feel uncomfortable talking about my past with strangers. The few times I have I tried laughing it off and say "thats life" but they (guys and gals) give that "this guy is nuts" look. But it's taking its toll on me and it's seriously really fuckin lonely. I have a few buds other than my brothers but bail when I hear they will be having more people or see more come in. I'ts like a constant internal battle I have where one part of me is saying "you know you're a loser. They don't want to hang with you. Go home and just be" I then try to bounce back thinking to myself "no fuck that shit. You're awesome to hang with. You have done a lot and been through that and this. This is easy dude!" But that half doesn't win to often. How do you over come this? I want to trust people, make new friends, be in a relationship; even if it ends so horribly. I just want to show people I'm not some crazy fucked up person. But I have little to no control over this behavior. Any advice given to me would help me out.