I am well-versed in the main ideas of this subreddit. Yet, there always seems to be uncomfortable differences between two types of principles:

  • The better self: "I'm confident, assertive, and no better than anyone else." The height of self-improvement, as I understand.

and

  • The guy whose foundation is based on game: "She's thinking X, so that's why I do Y and PROFIT! You gotta treat her like this in this situation, etc"

I have trouble knowing how to visualize an improved version of myself without running into this fork in the road.

For example, it's always been advised to ask a girl out by saying "I can do Saturday evening. Let's go to XYZ." I get it. Confident and unwavering. But how is asking this way acting like I'm not better than anyone else? If that were true, shouldn't I ask in a more considerate way? "Want to go to XYZ on Saturday?"

Heck, I'm confident around my friends and that's is how I ask to see if they want to do things. That is, I don't know if they are interested so I probe the situation casually with a question. How is this so "beta"? Someone explain this shit to me.