For Men:

Know and respect that every woman you meet and find attractive has considerable personal sexual agency. Expect that most women has had sex with someone else before she has met you.

I am of the belief it’s better to find out sooner rather than later whether you feel okay with her sexual past.

As such I have complied a list if mental ASSUMPTIONS I make that have aided/ protected my sanity in dealing with women. These assumptions are not meant for you to judge irrationally, but are to used as a resource to help you evaluate a woman. Likewise they prime your mind and make you aware of some, but not all a females sexual behavior as it relates to her past sexual history and relationship dynamics. This strategy is contrary to the “Don't ask, Don't tell, Don’t worry about it” model.

The primary first goal with these ASSUMPTIONS is to determine as best you can if she is or not suitable for long-term commitment, by your standards, not hers, you’re the prize and the barrier to the relationship. It’s up to you to disprove these assumptions, so use them as a checklist against her sexual history or what you approve of, not what the internet, media , church or your family and friends tell you what you should approve of.

The additional sub goals are to remove the veil of ignorance from men eyes, keep men's psyche from being shattered and make your mate selection somewhat logical, consistent and fair.

Reality doesn’t bend to our “romantic” idealizations. With these ASSUMPTIONS you don’t need to violate anyone’s privacy/ trust, but rather, from the start, like the moment you meet a woman, you would already have an informed and realistic image of the current state of a women’s sexual agency as it relates to her sexual behavior.

Even, if majority of these behavior ASSUMPTIONS are not true for ever woman, know that they can be true, so you must do due diligence, and what are the odds that none of the ASSUMPTIONS are true. And if you two have turbulence or break up, and you find you the “truth”, don’t be surprised or depressed, because again your mind is already primed.

You and women have the right to decide whether you want to be with a certain partner based on anything we choose. This is why transparency is paramount and research is king.

So, if you don’t care about her sexual history ignore this post.

However, if you are curious about a woman’s sexual history, want to protect your psyche and not be totally blind sided, then read further.

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ASSUME the following about every woman you are attracted to, dating or married with (even if you have been married for a while):

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  1. She has a body count of at least 20 to probably more than 50 sexual partners (this includes oral only)
  2. She has participated in an orgy (MFF or a (gangbangs))
  3. She has had at least one abortion where the pregnancy is not due to rape or incest
  4. Multiple one-night-stands
  5. Involved on/off with a married man, or least considerably older man prior to meeting you
  6. Has cheated in the past
  7. Has had some sort of desire or sexual experience with a woman
  8. Participated BDSM
  9. Has had anal sex
  10. Has had past treatment for an STD
  11. Used or uses party drugs
  12. She has engaged in prostitution/ stripping, sugar babying or cam girling
  13. Has filmed a porno or has considerable amounts of amateur sexual photos/ videos with exes that still exist online or in private.
  14. She is or was an Only Fans/ Snap or similar site/app “creator”
  15. Thanks to Instagram she has gotten flown out for a sex adventure
  16. She has an account on every major dating site/ app including fetish sites
  17. She may have been engaged or married in the past and hiding the fact
  18. Assume she has participated in some sort of real-life scheme/plan to finesse men for money either through a sham relationship, illegal scam or financial domination

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ASSUME further:

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  1. When you’re asking sexual history questions, she will play coy and pretend she is holy, pure and innocent and sexually conservative. She will not be totally open about her sexual past by filibustering or being vague about the answer. In fact, she may even outright lie.
  2. That she is still friends with the guys (or girls) she had sex with via Instagram, Facebook, or has their phone numbers.
  3. Any straight male acquaintances she has, even those you have met in your social circle, especially those she went to college with, has banged her either individually or in a gangbang.
  4. Any female acquaintances you both mutually know, again especially those she went to HS and college with has participated or watched her get gangbanged or at least they know “stories” of her past sexual history.
  5. She has tried or will still have sex with her gay male “besties” if she got horny during a night out partying, and that THEY will/have sweep it all under the rug from you.
  6. All of her female friends, and gay male friends will aid in the fraud and deception of her sexual past from you and run cover for their “sisters” current and past behavior.
  7. If she isn’t older than 31, then her fun phase isn’t some “fun times another lifetime ago”, but most likely recent, even, right up to the beginning of her relationship with you.
  8. She will emasculate you by doing kinky things with others in past that she had no emotional attachment to and lie to the you (the one she says she has an emotional attachment with) about what she willing to do. Essentially, she finds her past lovers more attractive and more worthy of sexual experimentation. This is particularly true for “Christian women” or church girls.
  9. Assume as she is dating or married to you, she is cheating right now, or at least has her back up plan ready and that you may even know who her backup plan is.

ASSUME, especially if your married:

  1. You are a “Plan B” after for sexual fun phase especially if she is older than 30. Your only meant to provide her with financial security and help her create a child. It’s not about love.
  2. She is only having duty sex with you, infrequently as possible at a rate far less, far less than during her previous “fun phase.”
  3. She gave her best sexually to the other guys in her past, and now she expects you the current husband to be satisfied with her sexual half-effort.
  4. She will rationalize weight gain and sexual infrequency as being your fault.
  5. If she stated going the gym in the last few months – she’s not getting in shape for you, she’s getting ready for the next guy.
  6. Again, she is cheating or can cheat with someone at the gym, while traveling, work or local neighborhood and that there is considerable incriminating evidence in chat logs/ DMs/ text messages.

If your married with children or considering this, then ASSUME:

  1. Home pregnancy tests are imprecise and also can be scammed to get you to commit to marriage. Positive tests are sold on the black market (craigslist) or otherwise obtained easily. So, before you make any commitments or public announcements, make an appointment with your health care provider and get a Quantitative blood test (or the beta hCG test) not a Qualitative blood test. The Quantitative test measures the exact amount of hCG in her blood. So, it can find even tiny amounts of hCG. This makes it very accurate.
  2. The child may not be yours so make sure you immediately get a paternity test.
  3. If your soon to be married, assume some of her old exes and other women that know her past will be invited to the wedding. Get the guest list and interview everyone about your fiancé’s past, especially during her college days.
  4. If all her guests give the approximately same answers, or give overly vague answers, either they are telling the truth, or they have been coached and are running cover (see ASSUME Further #5&6 from above). If she wants to have a private ceremony, with no guests from her past, scrutinize this heavily.
  5. If your already married, pull up the old guest list and get to calling or otherwise contact her current friends (male and female) and get details.

Therefore:

  1. If you discover her past, she will try and talk about it and work it out to get you to "understand." She will tell you everything you want to hear. She will say that she cared too much about me to share or was scared and that she has changed. She will cry, she will say "she was in an abusive relationship."
  2. She will tell you everything you want to hear to boost your self-image/ego and salvage her image. She will suggest relationship/ marriage counseling and that counselor will usually tell you to “not be so jealous”, “your jealously makes her feel less secure about the marriage” or “the past is the past.” The counselor will then suggest “therapy” for you or "prayer." She might even get her friends to talk to you. Commenters on Reddit will tell you the same just "forget about her past she is with you now."
  3. Men be more inquisitive on her past, if she ducks an dodges your questions, assume that this is your answer (her total behavior (tone, body language, mannerisms, not just her words)). Then you should become even more inquisitive to be sure (double down). However, it must be said, you can never know for sure, but still trust your instincts to make the final decision on keeping on ending the relationship.
  4. Keep Your Eyes and Mind Wide Open From The Very Beginning.

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If this post has been helpful to you as a man or could help another man, please share all over the internet and post follow up analysis and stories. Print it out and share it with guys offline as well.