Disclaimer: This is not a tip for guys who don't talk enough. I've never been one of those guys, so I wouldn't know how to go from having nothing to say to having enough to say.

This is for guys who have that hard-wired connection between their brains and their mouths where everything and anything comes out whenever you please.

The fix is pretty basic: develop a filter.

Think about what you want to say. Think about what its purpose is and whether the way you plan on saying it is the best way to say it. Remember that it is possible to be overly critical, but it is not possible to be overly conscious.

There are two possible outcomes: revision and rejection.

There are hundreds of reasons why you might want to revise or reject something you are about to say, but I am going to discuss three major ones: cliches, boringness and neediness.

Some examples:

You think you want to say, "You are so beautiful."

That is a hard reject. Don't even try to shift the words around to make it sound better. If she is inspiring you to say that about her then she has heard every variation on that for years and years and years. Being a typical dude is not ideal for seduction. Instead reject and wait for another thing to come to mind.

"I like your hair."

Revise. Too boring. Think of another way to say it.

"Your hair looks super soft. May I? [as you reach to feel it]"

This is much better. It's a more thoughtful compliment. You are breaking the touch barrier, but it has a gentlemanly tone to balance out the boldness. Good job.

"Hey, sorry to bother you, but I was just standing over there and I noticed how beautiful you were, and I normally don't do this, but I thought I would maybe come up and talk to you."

Reject! Very needy, cannot be fixed.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Revise. Also very needy and a bit cliche.

"What's your situation right now?"

This is a much better way to get a sense of where she is in her relationship life if you really need to know. You should eventually get to the point where you can tell just by her words and actions what her situation is, but until then, this is fine.

"[first text after getting her number] Hey, ____, it was good to meet you tonight. Have a save drive home. Talk to you soon."

Reject. Soooooo cliche and also boring. This is the first impression you are going to make in writing. Send it back to the drawing board and think of something different.

"[first text after getting her number] Hey, I saved your number as __ with soft hair. Is that cool?"

This is so much better. She's never heard it before, so it's not cliche. Although this seems counterintuitive, it's actually less needy to text something that requires a response than it is to text something that stands alone. It shows you are willing to put your ego on the line a bit. You realize that she could either not respond, give a crap response like "k" or give a positive response like "lmao, yeah sure. I'm saving you as handsome __. You still at the bar?" And you are okay with all of those outcomes. Solid game.

So TLDR for verbal game:

  1. Run your spoken and written words through a mental filter
  2. Either reject or revise if it needs it
  3. Key reasons for rejecting or revising: too cliche, too boring, too needy