I've written three posts on what I consider to be the core of seduction -- things that every great seducer is proficient in, whether he knows it or not. The advanced tactics that I will write about are less about direct seduction and more about maximizing your opportunities and your returns. If you learn these techniques without building your core seduction skills, you could come up short. So I link to these previous posts not to promote myself, but to provide the full picture.

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3fuutr/crush_hazards_seduction_series_rule_1_be_bold/ https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3hx3u4/crush_hazard_seduction_series_rule_2_build/ https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3m5dsg/crush_hazards_seduction_series_rule_3_focus_on/

Henry Kissinger is famous for saying that "power is the ultimate aphrodisiac." It's a convenient thing for a politician to say, no doubt. He is touching on a very important point though. Not all of us can be Secretary of State or a rock star or the quarterback of the football team or even the most recognizable person among your group of friends. However, recognition is achievable, and recognition is what you should aim for if you want to maximize your seduction results within any social group. Be talked about. Be one of the people -- better still, be the only person -- on people's minds and on the tips of their tongues. Your results will multiply several fold.

When I took a marketing classes in college, the professor taught us something profoundly applicable to this concept. In the old days of advertising, it was believed that each product should be sold with a different technique depending on what type of appeal you want it to have. So in the 1980s, over the counter drugs were vouched for by experts (4 out of 5 doctors recommend....), cars were sold by showing the viewer proof that they are safe with slow motion videos of crash tests, cigarettes were sold with an image of masculine rugged individualism, and so on. It was all very logical. Then over the years all advertising and marketing efforts started to trend towards one central concept known as brand salience. If someone asks you to name a brand of cigarettes or a reliable car or a website where you can read about current events, most people will mention the same few. It would be great if this happened because everyone did a thorough evaluation of the quality of each brand and through extensive trials, tests and thinking arrived at the most worthy candidate. And that might be true for some subjects that a person is particularly passionate about, but for everything else in the world, you are going to think of the one that you hear about the most. This is called brand salience.

What do a caveman, a gecko, a depressed sounding pig, a guy who dresses and talks like Rod Serling from the Twilight Zone, a couple of banjo playing guys making corny jokes or the phrase "it's what you do" have to do with car insurance? Nothing. GEICO's ads are all over the television, and they have little if anything to do with car insurance. Their entire objective is to be the first brand that comes to mind when a person thinks about car insurance. And the strategy has worked. They are the #2 auto insurer in terms of market share.

Young people are especially vulnerable to this effect (I know, who wants younger women, right?). I recently looked back through some of my high school memorabilia, and I was shocked at how many attractive girls there were whose names I don't know or can barely remember. And the girls that the guys talked about the most were not nearly as attractive, but why did I think they were? It's because in my mind and everyone else's they had no competition.

It's key to recognize that while in many cases women can develop an instant attraction, in at least as many more, it takes a lot of mental energy and dedication for a woman to become attracted to a guy. You want to be on her mind, and for that to happen, people need to talk about you.

People talk about you to other people. Those people hear about you and wonder what you are all about. There is a sense of intrigue, mystery and anticipation that builds up. Then they see you, perhaps from a distance. You aren't quite what they expected, but that just adds to the intrigue.

The way people talk about you doesn't have to be a glowing recommendation either. It could even be negative. Again, I am going to use an example from my childhood. In middle school, one of my best friends had a girlfriend. We spent a good deal of the summer together. For some reason (the reason became obvious later in life), there was a girl (not his girlfriend) whom he just couldn't stop talking about. He often called her a "slut", which was a bit of a strange term for a 13 year old girl. I was curious. Her name kept coming up. I didn't know what she looked like because she enrolled in the middle of the previous school year, so no photos in the yearbook. Didn't even have a decent mental image of her, but my friend kept bringing her up. "She's not hot or anything. Well, she's okay...." Then why all the attention? It was intriguing. Because I knew that the three of us would have a class together, the first day of school was wild with anticipation. I actually watched the minutes tick by wondering who this girl was that my friend talked so much about. What is it about her that gives her so much air time in our discussions? When we entered the class, I knew she was in there, but I didn't know which one. When roll was called and her name came up, my heart literally jumped into my throat. She quietly said, "here". She was nothing like what I expected from my friend's description. Unattractive? Hardly. Slutty? Impossible! She was as "girl next door" as it gets. But these wildly contradictory accounts were so intriguing. Here I was developing a massive crush on this quiet, shy girl within a few seconds of first seeing her just because of all this publicity and anticipation.

This effect is very powerful. It is immensely effective for teenagers. It is also quite effective for the 20-25 age group with still developing brains. Although women over 25 will have self-actualized to a great extent, there are still situations in which a woman's younger freer wilder thoughts overrides her more rational brain: parties, vacations, festivals, holidays and any other situations with an atmosphere of fun and social interaction is where you can use brand salience most effectively to your advantage.

Here are some tips on achieving this effect in short order and on a realistic scale:

  • Achieve things. Build something, solve a problem, get a promotion, win something....and when you do, accept the recognition in a gracious yet humble way. It sounds ridiculously simple, but one of the best ways to get people to talk about you is to be a newsworthy person.
  • Put yourself out there. Example: You are in Cabo and the MC is inviting people up to a stage to play ridiculous drinking games and/or feats of strength for prizes. Don't hesitate. Do it!
  • Formulate an image that sets you apart. It doesn't have to be any style in particular. It doesn't have to be old-style PUA peacocking with goggles and eye makeup. Just target your look in a noticeable way to the type of women you want to attract.
  • Be a little controversial. Don't be vanilla. Know when to shut up, but also know when to speak your mind. At my first career-oriented job, I was both loved and hated, but I was talked about, and that led to some wonderful experiences regardless of what any one woman thought of me.
  • Communicate who you are. It doesn't necessarily need to be with words, but you should not blend into the background of your group. Think of a band: some women like the lead singer, some like the guitarist, some like the bassist and some like the drummer. You don't have to be the "alpha male" of the group, but you do need to communicate something about yourself to the people around you. Make a noticeable contribution to the world around you. Be a part of what is going on.
  • Don't be too available, and don't reveal too much about yourself. Leave some room for people to imagine things about you. Some might imagine terrible things, and you will never be able to change their minds. No big deal. Some might imagine bad things and then be pleasantly surprised when they find out you aren't that bad. Some might imagine things about you that are far better than reality. The most important thing is that you are on their minds.

Note that this post was written in a fairly neutral way on purpose. I am focusing primarily on the effect of getting people talking about you. I am not recommending any one way to accomplish that. Some guys might prefer to be total assholes to get people talking about them. That will have a powerful effect, but the results may not be for everyone. Some people might prefer to get people talking about them by being unusually generous and kind to everyone, and that will also get people talking. That effect may not be for everyone either. There are plenty of ways to achieve this that are neither "good" nor "bad". It will pay dividends not to think of this concept in black and white terms, but to tailor it to you and your personality for maximum effectiveness.

No matter what style you employ, being on people's minds will give you more targets, more opportunities and potentially better results. Have a emotional effect on those around you. Make your image stick. Be part of the conversation, and you will be on people's minds.

Take care and good luck!

Crush Hazard