Hey everybody, just wanted to get some feedback on a night of going out. A little about me 5'10" slim build asian guy in early 30's. I know a lot of people say that the mystery method is outdated, but I didn't know where to start. I read the book and saw some of his stuff online. I thought it was a good place to start at least for a beginner like me. I also liked the structure that he set out because it was one less thing to think about. I practiced a few openers that I modified myself to give it a personal flair and had some conversational threads ready to go.

I decided to follow the format in the mystery method for beginners where you go out 4 hours a night and approach 3 sets an hour. My goal wasn't to go home with anyone that night. My goal was to get over approach anxiety and be good at opening sets and maintaining a fun and light conversation and possibly getting numbers or IG. I also made it a point to do it with no alcohol at all. I needed all my wits to get through the night. It was nerve wracking for sure, but I felt that more in the zone after a few approaches. The ultimate goal was to just do approaches and don't worry about if I got numbers/IG or not.

Venue #1:

  • Set #1: First set. It was a 3 set of girls. I opened with "do guys or girls lie more" and went into it. Since this was the first set I was definitely nervous. The goal of this set was to just open and throw some negs here and there and keep the conversation going for at least 5 minutes. Eventually one of the girls lost interest and shortly after the other girls the same. I just said nice to meet you and moved on.
  • Set #2: It was a 2 set and I used a slight variation of my previous opener. I got kind of lucky on this one. I thought the second girl was a friend of the first girl and she left. So I was immediately isolated with the original girl. We got to talking I threw a couple negs and I asked her to dance and we did. I eventually got her IG and I told her I had to go meet a friend. Could I get some feedback on this? I escalated kino and had a friendly banter and she was compliant. Should I have continued on this interaction? I'm currently talking with this girl over IG so I don't know?
  • Set #3: This was on the way out to the next venue. It was a 3 set of girls and opened with the same lines. They were surprised and immediately asked if this was part of a YouTube video. I said no. Maybe I should've said something more playful. This was only 5 minute interaction and at the end I said I'll be at another bar if they wanted to meet up. Probably not the best interaction.

Venue #2:

  • Set #1: Set of 2 girls. I opened and chose a target. Gave positive attention to her friend and gave some light hearted teases to the target. I personally thought the target responded well and I was engaging both of them. This is around probably the 10 minute mark, as soon as I felt like I was running out of things to say I panicked and said "hey let's do some shots". So I led them to the bar. It was tough trying to keep the interaction going and getting the attention of the bar tender. Eventually they lost interest and said that they were going to another bar. I got their IG's before we parted ways. However when I was about to go for another set, I saw them at a different part of the bar and for some reason this fucked me up. I got self conscious, the momentum that I built was completely gone. I started walking around the venue and couldn't approach so I just said screw it let's get out of here and get to the next venue.

Venue #3:

  • Set #1: I was waiting in line for the lounge/club place and I opened the set in front of me. They were smoking and I opened with "you guys must be from Europe because Americans don't really smoke". I don't know if that was a good opener or not. They were really stand offish. They were nice enough to do small chit chats, but eventually when we got into the club they just said bye. Fair enough. The left over negative energy from venue #2 seemed to be looming over.
  • Set #2: 2 bad interactions in a row. I was doing all the things that you should'n't be doing. I was walking around the venue, being a wallflower. I don't know I just into my own head. I eventually gave in and ordered a beer. After I approached a 3 set. Only one of the girls responded and she was fairly dismissive. I tried to engage the others, but they were completely ignoring me. This was probably a 2 to 3 minute interaction at best. I just decided to leave the venue.

Venue #4:

  • Set #1: I met up with a buddy to play pool. I saw a 2 set that was sitting at the middle of the bar. I approached. The target girl was very responsive, but her friend not responsive at all. If this is the case could I ignore her friend? Or should I have continued to engage both of them. The target girl was easy to engage, but at the same time I tried to engage her friend but nothing worked. After about 3 minutes I just said nice to meet you and left. What should I have done in that situation?

Overall it was an ok night. I was just disappointed that the set in venue #2 set the tone for the rest of the night. I really wanted to have done 3 approaches and hour. Any feedback on any of the approaches would be great. I am planning on going out solo again this Friday and attempting the 3 per hour for 4 hour challenge again. I'll probably post another field report then.