Called her out while flaking for the 3rd time in a month. Did i say too much?

quinnmcd · 2019-02-02T01:10:49+00:00

I don’t believe in bad timing. If two people want to make it work they find a way. That being said in think you have to move on.

She’s not showing the ability to communicate properly
She’s not replying to you after expressing your thoughts.

She’s probably just likes the attention and validation of being wanted. Put your energy into new girls. At a certain point it’s not about if you’re good enough for her, but is she good enough for you.

myhoeacademia · 2019-02-02T02:19:04+00:00

Imo there’s a better/ smarter way of responding to her. In a way, your response lowers your value in her eyes. Instead, you want to respond in a way that makes it seem like you’re putting the ball in her court to make her chase you. For example, try saying something along the lines of having her set up a date with you & see if you’re available. So the ball is in her court to make the plans but you have the upper hand if you wanna meet up with her or not. It’ll help show if she’s really interested or not

gitzky · 2019-02-02T01:37:16+00:00

There are never enough details in these posts. How physical did you guys get on the first date? Bad idea "making reservations" so early in the game, especially when she's proven to be so flighty. She hasn't earned that. Indeed, I'd argue that subconsciously (or consciously) you told her about the reservations because you thought it would make your plans more solid and her more committed, which means that you're still hanging onto the delusion that you can reason a woman to bed rather than use emotions.

Finally, your callout wasn't the greatest. You didn't call her out FOR HER BEHAVIOR at all. Rather, you confessed that you were very invested so early in the game. That's it. And on the heels of another lame excuse by her. You're rewarding bad behavior by validating her in that moment, when the better thing to do would've been to withdraw attention. A girl doesn't like you (just) because you like her. She likes you because of the way you make her feel.

Personally, I give a girl two strikes, contingent upon the girl providing a counteroffer for another day, which this girl did not do in her latest flake. No need to obsess or overanalyze.

bazookateeth · 2019-02-03T08:05:28+00:00

I know it hurts. I have been burned like this many times before and it was so hard because I never knew why or what I could do to fix it. It’s ok to be interested in someone but no one wants to be put on a pedestal, that’s what’s turning her off is that she knows that she can have her way with you. That you’d sacrifice your own happiness and well being just to stand next to her. This sounds romantic but it’s not, it’s weak and unnatural. If people don’t respect you, then they also cannot love you.

So I don’t want you to read his and think that you can fall in love. I don’t want you to read this and think that you can’t be yourself around those who you are really attracted to. I don’t want you to think that you have to shut yourself down to women, act tough or pretend you don’t care.

What I do want you to do is to look at the situation. If you see yourself as someone who is high value - as someone who is worthy of others time, someone who has ALOT to offer, you will be testing candidates to see if they are worth your time.

So what do you do with this girl. Let it go. Don’t hold the hurt in, let that go too. This is not a failure but a necessary lesson, and if you are going to avoid these mistakes you best start getting comfortable with making them and allowing yourself to learn from them.

Don’t pursue this girl, don’t send her another text. If you she her, smile be polite but don’t give her any attention. If she reaches out, don’t respond back immediately. General rule of thumb, take as much time to respond back to a women as they take to respond to you.

If she wants to make plans for a re-do date, make sure she knows that she is going to have to put forward a lot more effort if she wants to see you, you don’t have to say that, but make it clear in your words. Have her meet you at your house first before you guys go out. If that doesn’t work then just tell her maybe another time then when our schedules line up.

skatinislife446 · 2019-02-02T13:11:53+00:00

That “it was a great night...” makes it sound like you went all the way. But after reading your replies it seems you didn’t even kiss her.

It sounds like you didn’t escalate sexually on the first date. You should have been more physically playful. Also, we have no details of how she acted on that date. Did you pick up on any cues she was physically interested?

Title	Called her out while flaking for the 3rd time in a month. Did i say too much?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	25
Date	February 2, 2019 12:56 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/am8zac/called_her_out_while_flaking_for_the_3rd_time_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/called-her-out-while-flaking-for-the-3rd-time-in-a.1461580 https://theredarchive.com/post/1461580

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