So, this has been tearing me up inside, but I'm definitely a romantic at heart, and often times a softie. I don't feel like I have as much testosterone as my peers, and I don't have much interest at all in being dominant in bed or outside of it.

But none of this stems from a lack of self confidence. I feel pretty comfortable in my own skin, and I have days where I'm suave as fuck. But I feel the constant expectation to "take the lead or you won't get the girl." As if I can't be indecisive about dinner plans or what I'm ordering, or else I'm not taking the lead, and it's painted as a huge necessity.

I don't browse this subreddit to do pickup, but it helps me be confident, learn how to be charming, and most importantly, it helps me practice outcome independence.

But there are a ton of posts that outright say - NO girl wants a man who's not a leader. What about us?

Are we talking specifically in the pickup scene with the type of girls who are likely to be wooed? Or does this blanket statement apply to the vast majority of women?

Even the girls who have been with me have always loved it when I was confident and knew what I wanted, but most of the time I'd rather be passive and be told what to do - and I'd rather be sub in bed. Can we talk about this? Certainly things have to be more complicated than the black and white answers I'm reading.