cold approach help

MrQualtrough · 2019-11-22T18:45:29+00:00

Follow a CBT style program. CBT is one of the only proven forms of treatment for social anxiety. You do not have social anxiety disorder but the principles are the same.

First of all just do random menial tasks, even every day. One extra line of dialogue to a cashier "have a nice day", you're not hitting on them it's just part of therapy.

Then stop people in the street and ask for directions to a random place. Make up an address if you want, that's quite funny. Some people actually give me directions to a place that doesn't exist lol.

It's about slow progression from baseline getting used to performing these sorts of tasks.

In actual social anxiety disorder, generally the patient may actually need medication (SSRIs especially, of which sertraline, paroxetine, and venlafaxine are the most efficient for that illness)... But aside from that they need to catch the automatic negative thoughts.

When you are scared to do something social you are probably having an automatic prediction of what will happen: "I will stutter and everyone will laugh at me!" etc... That's normal, this is a mechanism designed to keep you safe... But it means you will want to build up your ability to break certain boundaries gradually to prove these thinking patterns wrong, or at worst to prove that the events won't kill you.

Then you want to address "post event processing". This is the psychiatric term for when you ruminate over your failures in an event after it happened. This is common along with the opposite negative predictions (Automatic Negative Thoughts) that happen prior to a social encounter.

Cheers.

If you have actual social anxiety disorder then you may want to try sertraline in combination with CBT therapy. You might want to try boosting sertraline with Wellbutrin (usually used as an aid to quit smoking). Wellbutrin has poor effect on its own but seems to boost SSRI therapy.

kostasbras · 2019-11-22T18:58:09+00:00

It's good sign that you understand you need help.

The solution is simple. You can't get rid of that feeling. The only thing you can do is to accept your nervousness and go execute anyway.

I've done thousands of approaches and still, everytime I see a cute girl that I wanna talk, there is this feeling which hits me.

But you have to consider it like a win/win situation. I mean, assume it like this : "the moment I say hi, I ve already won".

Be careful, If you gather too much info you will stuck in your head and won't be able to take action.

You don't need a perfect opening line, just a smile and a "hi" are enough.

SiR_EndR · 2019-12-10T02:50:29+00:00

Start saying hi and introducing yourself or saying weird stuff to EVERYONE... once you get used to doing it with people you dont feel for, and seeing their reactions, you might quickly become more comfortable talking with girls you like.

Get used to being turned down by asking ridiculous questions. At the grocery store? Ask the cashier if you can just take some of the groceries without ringing them up. At the gas station? Ask the cashier if they have free gas today. The answers will be no. Try to come up with a simple response like "hey worth a shot." Pretty soon it wont feel so awkward to approach a cute girl and make a fool of yourself.

Try giving compliments or approaching girls you aren't attracted to. This will help you get used to talking to strangers or being in seemingly awkward situations, but will remove a lot of the pressure you are feeling towards approaching your crush.

If you can get the courage, just go up to her and say something light. like "hey, werent you at the gym earlier? Are you following me?" Whether she responds positively or negatively, either can be a plus. You probably will not be successful with hooking up with your first crush, but they say a successful salesman is only selling to about 4-6 percent of their prospects. Step out of your comfort zone, if it doesnt kill you it will make you stronger. And, it wont kill you.

In college, I passed out on the floor from anxiety because I had to give a presentation along with a really cute girl. Realizing more presentations and public speaking was probably in store, I had to do something. So I decided for my next presentation that I would get up there and tell a bad joke immediately so it would be really awkward, then I just raised my voice, almost yelling, and got through the speech. I was shaking afterwards, but then I got really nice compliments from people that said they didn't know I could be like that. By my senior year, we were traveling across the country to present in a giant auditorium for a national competition. When you feel the thing inside telling you to stop, that's when you speak up or step forward. After you get through the actual experience you will realize it wasnt so bad, and you are stronger than your anxiety.

It gets better with age and practice. Sorry for the babbling, but you sound like me at 19 in some ways. You can do it!

Title	cold approach help
Author	AfyonWarrior_03
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	November 22, 2019 4:47 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e03ksi/cold_approach_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cold-approach-help.1484441 https://theredarchive.com/post/1484441

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