I got these 6 tips from an article and I figured I'd just summarize it for you. PUA is 95% confidence. Seriously. I'm 150% positive that anyone can succeed if they have enough self-confidence. How to gain that confidence? Well...

1. GET SHIT DONE

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” - Dale Carnegie

Just keep yourself busy AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. The more we stay at home doing nothing, the more free time we have to think about ourselves over-critically and over-analyze situations. At first, you'll probably have to force yourself to get off your ass and keep busy but eventually, it becomes a natural thing like any habit. More later on WHAT to keep yourself busy with.

2. FACE YOUR FEAR

Cliche, yet very important. Get out of your comfort zone. The more difficult situations you put yourself into, the more you learn, the more you feel good about yourself, the more self-confidence you will gain. Be curious and open to all new experiences. Just remember all the most memorable times you had and make the connection that these memories were a result of being curious.

3. UNDERSTAND THE ORDER IN WHICH THINGS HAPPEN

You do a thing that you're scared shitless of (approaching girls?) THEN you get the courage.

  • Progressive desensitization: building up confidence to handle different situations by exposing yourself to these situations, which turns the once feared tasks into everyday, normal tasks. Like tying your shoes. The more you expose yourself, the faster the rate of desensitization.

4. PREPARE

Do your due diligence before every task by preparing and educating yourself. This is more applicable in work/school. By for example rehearsing and rewriting your speech over and over you can pretty much learn it by heart. Prepare and you will feel more comfortable and confident. Just don’t make the mistake of getting stuck in the preparation phase and using it as a way to avoid taking action and the possible pain that it may result in.

5. IT'S OKAY TO BE WRONG

Failure won’t kill you. Nor will being wrong. The sky will not fall down. That’s just what people that haven’t faced their fear yet think. Four ways that failure can help you out:

  • You learn. Instead of seeing failure as something horrible you can start to view it more as a learning experience.

    • You become stronger. Every time you fail you become more accustomed to it. You realize more and more that it’s not the end of the world. And, again, you get desensitized (refer to point 3). You can handle things that would have been very hard to handle a few years back. Failing can also a have an exhilarating component because even though you failed you at least took a chance, which requires courage.
    • Your chances of succeeding increases. Every time you fail you can learn and increase your inner strength. So every failure can make you more and more likely to succeed.
    • The world doesn’t revolve around you. You may like to think so. But it doesn’t. People really don’t care that much about what you do. They have their own life, problems and worries that the world revolves around them to focus on. They don’t think that much about you or are constantly monitoring what you do wrong or when you fail.

6. KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU WANT TO BE

Just make up your mind about who you want to be. Set realistic goals for yourself and strive everyday to reach those goals. The tasks required to achieve these goals is what you should occupy yourself with (refer to point 1). Get to know yourself better. Go exploring. Face some of your fears. Fail over and over and understand that it isn’t really that big of a deal. Grow stronger through such experiences and also become more internally relaxed. Figure out what really excites you by simply trying a whole bunch of stuff out.

What other people say or think will have less of an impact than it used to because you know who you are better than they do. And since you have had all these experiences, since you have taken time to really get to know yourself and stretch yourself you will trust your own opinion and ability more than anything outside of you. You become stable and centered in yourself.

This will of course take time. It may be something that never really ends. So you might as well get started now.


Honestly, keep those 6 principles in mind and go out and do stuff instead of spending countless hours browsing /r/seduction in an attempt to 'perfect' your approach. The biggest step is confidence and the rest just comes with practice.