Confusion on direct vs. indirect openers

WIA20XX · 2019-12-01T08:23:16+00:00

Not to split hairs but adorable and beautiful have different connotations. And Todd tends to choose words specifically. He didn't say hot, sexy, beautiful. Sometimes he slips up and says cute. But adorable is sort of a physical compliment, but you can say that about bunnies and puppies.

But you're right, Todd isn't super consistent about being indirect IN A WAY THAT NEWBS can follow easily. I see why he's popular, but he likes to explain things like a physics professor.

The way Todd wants you to see his "looks compliment" opener is that - she looks cool/stylish/cute BUT he's not convinced.

The "compliment" establishes his concept that he calls "premise".

Premise is your reason for talking to the girl. According to him, the girl doesn't assume that you're trying to talk to her in a romantic/date/sexual way when you approach.

So at the beginning, your 93% of nonverbal communication says "random stranger" not romantic suitor. So you have to give a verbal reason to explain why you're talking to her. You have to make it a man to woman vibe.

As you get comfortable in approaching girls, your body language says that you think she's sexy, so you don't have to verbalize it.

If you watch Friends, Joey is the player of the group. If he says to a girl, "How you doing?" - he's communicating sexual interest just by his tone and mannerisms. He isn't actually asking about her state of being. And she knows it. She knows he's coming on to her. She knows that it's man to woman.

The second part of how Todd opens is where the indirect comes in. His tone is positive and impressed at the start, but grows inquisitive at the end. He's skeptical. He's on the fence.

Maybe she isn't as cool as she appears to be. That's what is being communicated nonverbally.

She hears him hesitate, and this baits her into qualifying herself to him.

What's wrong with me?

Her getting baited into this game, where she has to prove herself to some random guy that came out of nowhere - that's the indirect part. You are indirectly attracting her.

And because of how power relationships work - once the girl starts to qualify herself to you - you become "attractive".

Your face does not become handsome. Your lack of muscles doesn't turn you into a jacked gym bro. It's not that kind of attraction.

It's more like a psychological obsession. Like she has to have the last word. Like you can't be mistaken about her. She must correct it.

You have baited her, and now she's falling for it.

Indirect is generally good game. Once you understand what it is, you'll see it in art, business, religion, and politics. But it's a mind fuck.

Part of the problem of indirect attraction is in the name itself, indirect and attraction.

Guys think it's about hiding your sexual intent. Somehow by lying about what you want from the girl, she magically wants to fuck you. But that's not what it is at all.

You're fucking with her head.

Keep in mind that Her makeup and appearance fuck with your head, your perceptions.

Most of all attraction is mental warfare. She doesn't smell like lilacs and her skin is abnormally soft, and often times they starve themselves to look a certain way. Billions of dollars are spent on her deception.

Reddit is full of people baiting each other to communicate. That's how why people get worked up over some random stranger on the internet.

That's indirect attraction.

The attraction isn't sexual, it's more like you can't take your attention away. You get sucked in.

So a proper indirect approach means you're getting the girl's attention, and then you're holding on to it, pushing her buttons. She is getting sucked into this emotional vortex, and she can't pull away.

What are you going to say next.
What are you going to do next?
What emotions is she going to feel next?

She's the kid that sees a ball and has to have it, play with it. But you play keep away. The kid kind of wants the ball, but what they really want is to take it from you. It's not about the ball, it's about winning, about beating you.

Manson? Just say what you want, put yourself out there. If she digs you, she'll roll with you. If not, fuck her.

grrinchas · 2019-12-01T09:41:17+00:00

To add little bit more confusion I will say that neither “What” nor “How” you say it actually matters. The most important part in any communication is a CONTEXT. Which can be separated into two main parts:

A) outer - this includes surroundings where communication happens, other people in communication, distractions, time of the day and a year, medium (person to person, phone, online) etc...

B) inner - because brains are the ones which actually gives the meaning of sounds waves or visual cues the state of mind of both parties plays the critical role.

So to answer question “direct or indirect?”

It depends on a context. E.g.

1) She is in a rush, don’t have time to talk, is daytime, she is walking, is alone.

In this context you have to go strongly direct, cause it will kick her out of her “I need to be somewhere” state of mind, and shock her.

2) She is sitting in a park with a friend, enjoying sun relaxing.

In this context go indirect, cause she has time to talk with you, and flirt with you.

3) Two girls shopping

In this context again go indirect. Although they are shopping they have time to talk. Plus you have to figure out which one is single and available. Plus win over her friend.

4) She is walking with a guy, but body language says they are friends

Go direct. You can’t win guys approval cause most likely he likes her too. By going directly you show big balls.

5) 3 set. Couple and she has a friend.

Go indirectly and open a guy. Show him respect. Win him over. He will let you take his girlfriend friend.

As u can see different contexts requires different openers.

GeeseCTM · 2019-12-01T17:18:28+00:00

Your first problem is you're listening to Mark Manson about anything.

The next problem is you're listening to some RSD guy tell you what to do.

The answer to the question is, what situation are you in? Be flexible. Where are you at, what time of day, what's going on, what are the surroundings like, what's she doing, what are you doing, like use common sense. Some situations indirect is going to work better, and other situations direct is going to work better or, may just be the only thing that makes sense. If I'm walking down the street and I see a girl she's walking towards me and she's going the other way, then going direct is going to make a lot more sense than me trying to be cheeky and creative and come up with some indirect line. She's going somewhere and she may need to be there in 5 minutes, I don't know, and by me beating around the bush, that's probably not going to make much sense. So come up with something direct.

Maybe we're in a grocery store and she's doing grocery shopping, people only grocery shop when they have time to go grocery shopping for the most part, so if she's walking around with a basket or a cart you probably have a little extra time, and in that case you can come up with something indirect.

Coffee shop, she's sitting at a table, she's doing stuff, and direct is probably a better way to go. Also it creates more social cover so you don't make her feel uncomfortable by going up and being direct, in a room where it's kind of quiet and people can overhear your conversation. That's going to make her nervous and stiffen up if you go up and say, hey I think you're beautiful, which is a really bad opener anyway.

So you might come up with something a little bit more creative in the coffee shop, I have my personal coffee shop opener that works.

It really is, it's situational, simply start asking yourself, what opener makes sense in this situation before you approach. Just real quick, and don't sit there and think about it for 10 minutes, just come up with something real quick. What's happening, what she doing, what am I doing, what's the best opener for this situation? HOW DO I FEEL (sometimes your instincts will tell you direct is the way go, just GO) Real quick. It should take you literally 2 seconds to come up with an answer. You don't have to literally think all these things verbatim, it's just natural. Simply say, what is best for the situation? And then go.

anonymous478569 · 2019-12-01T04:52:23+00:00

So when did you walk out of your moms basement last time? Has it been 84 years yet?

Title	Confusion on direct vs. indirect openers
Author	pooping_ATM
Upvotes	7
Comments	13
Date	December 1, 2019 4:50 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e4as0a/confusion_on_direct_vs_indirect_openers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/confusion-on-direct-vs-indirect-openers.1485094 https://theredarchive.com/post/1485094

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