This will be brief and probably not the kind of thing most of us come here to read in the first place so I'll just say my piece and be done with it.

One of the most important things you can do for your sex life is know when it's time to take a break from it.

I know most will find it counter-intuitive to hear since a lot of people come here to hopefully have more sex but I think this is a vital thing to keep in mind. I certainly know that at certain points in my life, I thought about picking up and getting laid so much that my self-esteem got too tied up into the whole mess.

The things that make you attractive a lot of the times don't even have anything to do with yourself. I think that's the key lesson that most of the "self-help" type advice on this sub is trying to teach.

I know that I became much more attractive, confident and laid back once I actually stopped trying to get laid and focused on areas of myself that are tangentially related but 100% all about me.

You amuse yourself and you'll radiate good vibrations. You lead a life worth living, one where you can't wait to be around yourself, where you enjoy your own company and your own skin, and that kind of behavior will just naturally attract others.

You know what's good dating advice? Approach anybody. Just be more social. Offer to help old ladies cross the street. Get into casual conversations with your cashiers, ushers, fellow commuters, people in line. Become a social animal. Not just for the sake of seduction but because that's an enjoyable person to be.

We can often get into funks where we put sex on a pedestal. Or not even sex but individuals we're trying to pursue. I said this in another post, we always treat the object of our affection as American Idol judges, like we're auditioning for their approval when they're just as nervous as we are. And if the interaction is awkward, it's because we "fucked up", like the onus was only ours.

You can avoid falling into this trap by doing you so hard that success or failure of your encounters is measured solely by the qualia of the moment and not by whether or not you got a number or a kiss or a handy-j in the bathroom.

That's why I say it's healthy to say sometimes, "The best thing I can do is not focus on that right now." I don't mean don't go out, don't meet people. In fact, I'd say go out, go dancing, go to a bar, talk to everyone but it do it strictly knowing you're not there to get laid or "meet" anyone. Put sex and courtship out of your mind and just go out and be a social animal. That's it. Enjoy yourself without seeking validation.

Anyway, I guess it wasn't that brief. I hope the thought adds something to your life. If it doesn't and I'm just saying a bunch of shit you don't want to hear, sorry for wasting your time.