I've broken a personal rule this month, one that I have held for all of my life: I've started writing my ladies down.

One day I was asked about my number, reflected on it, and knew what it was. But thinking more deeply, while I was sure of the number, I couldn't remember all of the women's names/faces.

I know that for many players, there are only two bangs: your first and your last, and the rest don't matter. For me, though, there's a little more to it that just getting off, and I had a connection with each of these women, however brief, and I don't want to lose that.

This is not something I ever want anyone else to read - certainly not my wife - so I'm using an encrypted document to hold it. Once I started writing down names, it was amazing what I could remember. It just came POURING back. I think I've remembered them all now, and I was able to dig enough old photographs out of boxes that I have pictures of almost all of them, except a couple from my college days.

It's been very excitiing to walk down memory lane, and my libido is up from all the mental exercise. The thing is, once I got the names, I couldn't help myself. I also wrote down the memories - what kind of sex - how good it was - why she was reluctant to do different things - what kind of relationship was it - all that sort of stuff.

For the record, I have a secure, stable hetero marriage, but we opened it about 11 years ago - my wife knows that there are other women occasionally.

I'm probably a lot older than most of the men here. I'm in my fifties.

Does anyone else keep a written bang list? Am I insane for doing so?