DAE have problems with their old friends not wanting to hang around them since they started acting unafraid and more genuine?

HappyJerk · 2014-02-10T14:15:55+00:00

You sound like you ARE childish. One of the problems with the PUA community is that it encourages people to act like frivolous idiots. They tell you to respond to anything anybody says with a witty one-liner, to act like you "completely don't give a fuck," to be aggressive and obnoxious, to make everything a joke, etc... That works to get girls SOMETIMES but in other situations it just pisses people off. Whenever I'm in public I know I'm around a "PUA" guy if I try to have a conversation with him and he answers me in riddles or other stupid shit.

I was having a conversation about careers with 2 girls and a guy the other night, and I asked the guy what he did. He said "Oh, I'm an eyebrow model." Now, sometimes that kind of answer is funny or whatever, but in that situation it was fucking rude. We had been seriously talking about careers for 15 minutes so his answer to me was disrespectful and condescending. Now I know a lot of the fucktards here would be like "derrr, what he said was funny, derrrr" but you would have to be a vacant idiot to not realize why a lot of people would find that kind of annoying and offensive. There is a time and a place for everything, and sometimes you have to act like a normal fucking human being.

So it makes perfect sense for people to be annoyed at you acting like an idiot. And of course, your friends' wives are not going to like you hooking up with random girls around their husbands. They don't want you to tempt their husbands. You need to be conscious and respectful of people's emotions and attitudes. If I'm around a bunch of Christians I'm not going to talk about smoking weed, and if I'm at a wedding I'm not going to try to make myself the center of attention. It's ok to pick up girls in some situations, but if that's all you're doing you look like a lonely, desperate asshole.

aalewis____ · 2014-02-10T09:56:37+00:00

confidence, autism, and maturity are 3 completely different things that don't mix. pick one

Djmeansdjk · 2014-02-10T12:47:36+00:00

I tell girls they have amazing booties all the time. I get slapped a lot though :/

2014-02-10T17:19:12+00:00

Learn to calibrate to the situation. If you're out with your friends and their WIVES you can't be going around saying outrageous things in front of them as it will reflect on them. They are unlikely to be comfortable with that, given their mature situations. Develop some alternate game that doesn't rely on outrageous, loud comments that have you looking drunk and use that when in these situations. See Mystery/Style's game, much lower energy and quieter than RSDTyler's "everything I'm thinking" high-energy game. Both work, both take skill to develop and having both will create a strong complete game.

There's also just the ~~chance~~ guarantee that you acting like you're 18 is making the wives insecure - what kind of model are you to their husbands? They don't want their men to see you banging hot women at concerts. That's the bottom line you don't seem to be aware of. Your success is threatening to them. It's all fun and games until it happens, then it's not good for them. There's no way around this, it's just a universal thing.

Alternate strategy here is to be aware of these weaknesses and vulnerabilities in your success and start GIVING VALUE to your group. Stop being the guy who is out there purely to get laid and start being the guy who is making EVERYONE in the group happier. Make it your first priority to make sure you are creating a better environment for your group and they're all happy to have you there, THEN start chasing women. This can be hard to do but if you can figure out how you'll basically be set. Also minimize your success with women in front of women: don't be the guy who is telling everyone you're hooking up with that hot girl tonight, just let it happen quietly, almost like you're hiding it. This minimizes the "he's a bad role model for my husband" fear from the women.

Potential problems with this approach is that your energy level and attitude is just too out of sync for the group to handle. A study group focusing on Russian literature can't have a clown jumping around in the room: it just ruins the goal of the study group. People who want to calmly enjoy a concert won't want to be around Mr. High Energy who is saying crazy things. A possible solution would be to BREAK from the group on arrival, spend some time doing your thing, then return to the group for awhile to catch-up for 5-10 minutes, then repeat. This allows them to maintain whatever they want while allowing you to do what you want and still be "out with them". Tell them stories about what you just did, with focus on avoiding heavy sexual bragging ("so I was grinding with this girl over there...") and you may be able to make everything work.

If I were you I'd combine these two elements and see what happens. Go out with them for the night but split from them early and often, returning to catch-up throughout the night in brief visits. When you're there with them catching-up give value to them by talking about interesting things you saw/did that weren't about women, e.g. X band was awesome at Y stage and so on. Compliment them, make them feel good about themselves, then disappear back out for another foray where you do your thing. You don't have to shove your sexuality down their throats: they aren't the ones who are going to be making out with / fucking you.

If this fails then at some point though you'll have to make a decision: do I want to continue as I am at all times or am I willing to not act outrageously in order to maintain these friendships? Is it worth it? That's your own call, but it's very likely a call you're going to have to make very soon or immediately.

Smiles_27 · 2014-02-12T03:04:27+00:00

I like that you're coming into your own. I like that you're more willing to just be you and enjoy it. You obviously haven't learned to handle your shit though. It's cool, HappyJerk nailed it. You came out of your shell, and now you've set yourself to 11.. Eventually you'll tone down.

Furthermore, Like happyjerk, I'm concerned you don't know how to act as a proper adult around your friends and their wives.

You know, if you went out and fooled around with women alone your friends wives may be more receptive. Especially when you grow up and genuinely become suave.

Now this one's gonna be hard. Come 'ere and sit on uncle smile's knee. It's time to understand something champ; Your buddies wives have a lot more say in how often your friends see you than you think.

Wait, What?

Yeah, if you act like a douchenozzle your friends' wives will tell their husbands (your friends) that you're a tool, and that you're not welcome around anymore. Then you can barely manage to see your buddies. Keep this shit up and you'll be starting over with zero friends

It's a bitch, sure. But it's life. The objective now, is to get in a better view with those wives. No, don't hit on them. Yes, I thought that was funny. =/

Title	DAE have problems with their old friends not wanting to hang around them since they started acting unafraid and more genuine?
Author	FreelanceSedditor
Upvotes	7
Comments	13
Date	February 10, 2014 9:24 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1xiaub/dae_have_problems_with_their_old_friends_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dae-have-problems-with-their-old-friends-not.1365797 https://theredarchive.com/post/1365797

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