Date anxiety extreme

Woujo · 2017-06-09T15:03:42+00:00

The way to stop being nervous is to stop caring how it goes. She will either like your or not, and you can't control that, so you might as well do yo and if she doesn't like it she can go fuck herself.

VodkaClub1217 · 2017-06-09T16:17:41+00:00

If you've been going on traditional dates where you sit across the table from each other and order dinner and drinks a great way to alleviate anxiety is to stop doing this.

Let's face it, the traditional date is incredibly stressful (and expensive!). Make it easier on yourself and your date by suggesting something more casual like taking a walk in the park or going to a museum. Not only will you spend less on the date but you'll be seen as daring and edgy by thinking outside the box.

danielinthebox · 2017-06-09T16:46:30+00:00

Usually just go for a drink lol

recyclablebanthas · 2017-06-10T02:09:20+00:00

__1__

Fear of running out of things to say and that she finds me boring. How do I get over this?

There's a way that's simple, but requires a lot of work, 24/7. You have to become mindful of your thoughts.

Anxiety doesn't come out of nowhere. What happens is that there are certain thought patterns that circulate in one's mind, and one or more of those are reinforcing your anxiety.
You need to start being aware of the thoughts running through your head. And you must practice identifying all the little ideas that make up a thought pattern: often a thought pattern will have more than one idea inside it.
Start fact checking any thought pattern running through your head. Check any thoughts against logic. Nothing unrealistic should be allowed, no matter if it's unrealistically positive or negative.

__2__

Every time I go on a date I usually drink like half a btl of wine and the dates go amazing, usually end up getting laid and it's actually how I met my ex.

See this is something you should be questioning.

She's your ex for a reason, right? Why did that relationship fail? My guess is that it wasn't an amazing relationship and it failed because you required alcohol to get in it but you can't be drunk all the time.

__3__

I just know exactly what to say and express myself fully, I feel free.

But you're not free if you need alcohol to do it.

And you could do this without the crutch of alcohol.

__4__

Also I have this weird scarcity mindset cause the girls I go on dates with are really hot and i feel like if I don't drink I will 100% blow it....

Again, you have to do the work of reminding yourself of logic that goes against such ridiculous thoughts.

Stop accepting the idea that girls who happen to look a certain way, are in some way special.

They're not. And you're allowing such thoughts to run on repeat in your head. Of course it'll make you almost sick with anxiety if you repeatedly think something like that over and over.

Thoughts actually change the brain chemistry, man. You're altering your own physiology and that's why you have to then go back and medicate with alcohol.

But you could just stop the problem at its source.

Title	Date anxiety extreme
Author	danielinthebox
Upvotes	1
Comments	7
Date	June 9, 2017 2:21 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6g8p9p/date_anxiety_extreme/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/date-anxiety-extreme.1425855 https://theredarchive.com/post/1425855

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