How the fuck do you talk ?

Ragondux · 2017-06-08T13:07:21+00:00

Most people enjoy talking more than listening. This means that if you don't know what to say, most of the time you can choose to listen instead. Of course at some point you have to say something, but you can let her do most of the talking and then react to what she said.

Modren_Alchemist · 2017-06-08T12:20:35+00:00

Okay this is what you do, you go into a crowded place and scream "KAW KA" like a bird. Try to make it as crow sounding as possible and the person who responds with a "KAW KA" is the one right for you.

suzy2018 · 2017-06-08T16:41:42+00:00

Stop Planning and Start Listening

I took an improv class a couple of months back and we did an eye-opening exercise. We stood around in a circle and had to say words. In the first round, we were given a topic and had to say one word that hasn't been said before. In the second round, we were given no topic rather, we had to say the first word that came to mind after hearing the person before us.

Guess which one went smoother? Hint: It was the second round.

Why though?

When we had to focus on a specific topic and not repeat, you have to plan out a list in your head of words to say. It becomes an if-then scenario. When you're out or just talking to a stranger, if you try to plan everything out in advance or try to think of the perfect thing to say, you're not really in the moment, you're in your head.

When all we had to focus on was a single word, it was so much easier. That's how good conversations happen. Be in the moment, don't try to plan anything out, stay in the moment. If things get awkward, don't be afraid to call it out.

My mind is completely blank right now, some people get super weirded out when there is even 10 seconds of silence. One time when I was younger, I think I actually ran away from someone because I got so uncomfortable =D

If either of you are uncomfortable, it will break the tension by making light of it.

TwelveElevenths · 2017-06-08T22:18:28+00:00

I'm a big fan of Jordan Peterson. His video on conquering social anxiety is really smart. Just look at around and really see other people. You can tell on their face how they are feeling. If you respond accordingly and respect them if they clearly want you to fuck off you should be ok. I struggle constantly with this too so don't feel alone. Here's the video

recyclablebanthas · 2017-06-09T02:37:32+00:00

How the fuck do you talk ?

Open your mouth.

Come on man, if you really want help, do yourself a favor and post more than a headline and 2 short, vague sentences.

Sometimes I just feel like I have nothing to say ? And I don't know if it because I'm introverted, dumb or just fucking nervous.

Do yourself another favor and stop trying to be an armchair psychologist.

Introversion isn't something you diagnose because you happen to have nothing to say. Neither is this an indication of intelligence. But yes, it does indicate that you're making shit way too complicated. Unfortunately, you've given zero details of your situation, not even an example of you locking up in public. So I can only give you a general answer here.

You're almost certainly not paying attention to the world around you. There is more than enough going on around you, that you can talk about, if you're paying attention.
You might think there is some earth shattering thing you need to say. Or that you must say the "right" thing. This is utter bullshit.

Reaver_ · 2017-06-09T08:08:24+00:00

I know I'm a little late, but this video basically solved this exact problem for me, specifically around 14:00:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-a1jXgAsQI&list=LLyEOyDxjYtCgraBW18lNmQQ&index=40

The gist of it is that you are not responsible for holding a conversation. A conversation is a two way street, it involves both parties and if the other person isn't willing to give equal participation in the conversation, then she's either not worth your time and you should move on, or what Nick Sparks in the video says, basically let her know that her bland responses to you is unacceptable. With that, the tricky part is there's a fine line between coming off as an asshole, and coming off as sincere in wanting the other to elaborate on their responses.

But basically, you are not responsible for bludgeoning through awkward one sided conversations by playing the 20-questions game with the girl. It's her job to give equal input, and if she's not doing that or not willing to do that, it's not you're fault as long as you're doing your part and being sincere and invested. A lot of guys beat themselves up on here because of how hard it is to hold conversations. And sure, there's certainly tips and tricks out there that you can use. But honestly... sometimes the girl you're with is just fucking boring or waiting to be entertained by you, and that's not you're fucking job and she's not worth your time. You are an interesting person. You deserve to talk to an equally interesting person. You're happy to listen and are genuinely interested, and are more than happy to share your stories and opinions in depth. You're doing your job. If the other person isn't willing to do the same, it's truly out of your hands, and when I realized that fact, it was a fucking revelation. It was so freeing, such a burden lifted off of me. Just remember how valuable you are and what you have to offer, and how if the other person refuses to be apart of that or see that, it's their loss.

Anyway, the video does a better job of explaining this, definitely worth watching. Hope it helps you like it helped me

natephant · 2017-06-08T13:55:20+00:00

A better idea is to get THEM to talk.

Leo215 · 2017-06-08T15:00:29+00:00

Always ask questions.

LeRedditArmyLt · 2017-06-08T15:47:17+00:00

I have exactly the same problem. Sorry bro, we are just fucking dumb. Luckily, this is nothing to worry about, ive been able to have gfs and have sex even with my idiot skills. Just say whatever comes to mind, i just used to say "hi, i saw you from over there and thought you were cute and had to meet you" something like that. Worst is that my face gets red sometimes, fuck, but that helps me to make them laugh. Then from that you say what are you doing here, and take from that.

Indirect game is a lot harder for me, i hate small talk so it would be obvious im talking to her because im hitting on her.

Shakydrummer · 2017-06-08T17:13:57+00:00

I actually found this gem of a post on charisma on the red pill. Maybe this can help?

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6ek7in/the_charisma_blueprint/

Jacob_961 · 2017-06-08T12:28:22+00:00

It's nerves and lack of social competence. It gets better with age and experience. Watch a lot of stand up comedy and read psychology books. It helps.

luaudesign · 2017-06-08T16:32:47+00:00

Just 10min ago I had this issue with a 4-set. I've passed by their table 2 times and 2 of them were giving me a lot of sexy eye contact, and at one point I caught them and their friends were turned around looking in my direction, so one of them must have made a comment. I passed by them again, a lot more eye contact, then I came back and approached. They laughed at a pretty boring joke, but then I noticed at least two had wedding rings, and the other two were on their phones.

I'm used to expect that with at least 2-sets there's always somebody willing to say something and help pushing the talk ahead, but from then on all 4-girls had nothing to say other than simply answering my questions. It threw me off plan really hard because it wasn't a situation that gives a lot to talk about, tho I kept most of my frame, but I lost all inspiration and didn't have anything interesting to say, asked a couple boring questions and then said my lunch time was up, said "good afternoon"and left. Dammit.

purplestuff11 · 2017-06-09T04:37:25+00:00

Something I heard was that an easy way to do it is to really listen to what they say and rephrase it and repeat it, making a question or statement out of it that they can respond to. If someone says that they did something and they're enthusiastic about it don't say something like that's good. Get enthusiastic as well and ask them why, how, ask for the details so you can get some of the experience and so they'll associate you with that good memory. People love feeling validated. Then once the energy is up share some exciting experience of your own and keep it going. They might do the same for you and you'll both enjoy the social high. Don't do this immediately after they talk about their experiences or it may come across as you trying to one up them which people do not like as much. Be interested and get those details, make friendly jokes, and talk about related topics. You'll do just fine and get far with most anyone. If you're into them subtly let them know or be more direct if that's your style. Hey you seem pretty interesting to me. You want to go out and talk about that? Something like that in your words of course. Once you get going it's easy.

THEREALKEVINSANE · 2017-06-08T13:43:42+00:00

the sky is blue the grass is green the sun is yellow

rijoja · 2017-06-09T09:18:00+00:00

F.O.R.D.

Family Occupation Recreation Dreams

Title	How the fuck do you talk ?
Author	danielinthebox
Upvotes	66
Comments	46
Date	June 8, 2017 12:08 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6g0jbv/how_the_fuck_do_you_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-the-fuck-do-you-talk.1425799 https://theredarchive.com/post/1425799

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