I had a fantastically smooth number close today from a cold approach on the street. Unfortunately I was a moron and missed a digit when putting the number into my phone! Oops! Gone forever... The plus side however is that it got me thinking about what went right.

I noticed on reflection that I was really comfortable and confident approaching her, which meant that my presence came across as much more relaxed, allowing me to get closer and physically escalate easier. Here's some tips I've put together for you guys after some reflection:

Ground rules:

1) Get comfortable with your presence.

Nobody wants to be close to someone that feels like they don't belong there. If you're giving off unconfident vibes, she'll be hesitant to let you stand close enough into her space that you can touch her. Conversely, if a guy is confident and comfortable, the opposite is true, the girl will actually prefer you get close to her. We transfer the mood we're in, so if we're confident and comfortable, she'll feel the same way and will want you near.

You can get comfortable by doing some warm up approaches, or put yourself in a good mood with some music. However, the most effective way to boost your comfort levels on the approach is to just get more experience approaching. If you feel like your approach anxiety is too much to allow you to feel completely at home on the approach, just go out and do more until approach anxiety turns into approach excitement.

2) Get in close, and do it right away.

This is why the previous point is so important. The easiest way to get physical during daygame is to just stand really close to her when you approach. Have you ever been approached by a charity fundraiser or a salesman before? Have you ever noticed that they get in super close to you? They're trained to do that for a reason, it assumes rapport.

Just take one more step closer to her than you normally would, get in her personal space. You want to be able to touch her by barely raising your arm. If you've not done it before it will feel awkward, plow through it until it feels normal. When you get to the stage where it feels normal for you, it will feel normal for her, too. She'll feel that ad likely stay in place and not step back.

The key with this one is to get close early. If you try to step close after stopping her, she'll notice hardcore and will try to re-establish the spacious-quo (heh) and move backwards. but if you use the momentum of your confident approach to just get all up in her junk, she'll likely be more fine with it. This is important as it sets the precedent for what's next.

3) Be varied with your touch

You want to make sure you mix up how and why you're touching the girl. If you do too much of one thing over and over, she'll become much more apparent and creepy. But if you mix in some hugs with some playful teasing, or some firm handshakes with some silly role play, you'll come across as confident, fun and charming.

Techniques:

1) Shake her hand, and hold it.

This one is simple. After a little chat, exchange names and shake hands. The key here is that you want to give her a good shake, hold eye contact, and then not let go of her hand. Hold eye contact, hold her hand and carry on talking. You'll likely feel some resistance and she'll want to pull away when you re-engage the conversation, let her, but never be the first to pull out of the handshake.

The length she holds your hand without pulling away after the shake stops is a good indication of her initial interest. It wont be long enough to count in most cases, but it will be long enough to feel a spark. If the contact here was good and long, you could in most cases close the set there, she's already sold.

Some girls won't pull away at all, and you could end up chatting away for a while while you still hold hands. If that's the case, step in closer while still holding her hand, give her eye contact and build some sexual chemistry. Tell her she looks gorgeous, see how she reacts. I've had kiss closes on the street just a few minutes in with this one.

2) EYE CONTACT

Yes this counts as physical escalation in daygame. Look at her with desire and be enthralled with what she has to say. Pay attention to the colour of her eyes and her pupils. Force her into a bubble with you. Do not look around when talking, always be giving strong eye contact.

If she gives you strong eye contact back, you're on to a winner. If not, plow through and keep giving her strong eye contact while she looks around. As she becomes more comfortable with you, you'll notice her giving you more eye contact and becoming more comfortable with it.

3) Touch her arm during jokes and points

This one is self explanatory. Whenever you make a point or a punchline, touch her on the arm. My personal favourite place to touch is the elbow. It's a really natural and comfortable place to touch and be touched during conversation. You should be standing close enough to her that doing this requires very little movement on your part, otherwise it'll feel forced and a little awkward.

4) Point out/play with jewellery

Speaking of arms. If she's wearing rings, bracelets or anything else on her arms, use it as a excuse to touch her. Don't say much, just take her hand and touch her ring as you say "I like this, does it have a story?" or take her hand with one of yours and examine a bracelet with the other and say the same thing.

5) Use your phone to get in closer

If you want to get in closer with a girl so you can put your arm around her briefly or really amp up your proximity, then you can try using your phone. It's easy! just show her a youtube video or picture. Instead of just giving her the phone or showing it to her with an extended arm, stand to her side and huddle up with her to show it, just like she would with friends.

Also if you have headphones, show her music and have her listen to one headphone while you huddle up next to her and listen to the other.

6) Use role play and games, and just have fun with her physically.

Thumb wars sounds dumb, but it's fun and gets you touching. As is joking calling her your wife and putting your arm around her. Ask for her hat/sunglasses and wear it - pretending to be her. If you're good at improvising this can be an endless source of chances to physically escalate.

7) ALWAYS GO FOR THE HUG

When you close the set, you HAVE to go for the hug. It really seals the interaction off nicely. When you're done and you're heading off, open your arms and just assume the hug position. If your physical escalation has been clear and smooth while talking with her, she won't even need to be verbally asked, she may even offer it herself.

In Daygame, I've found that the hug is the best level of physical escalation you're going to get. Unless you're very lucky to find someone very receptive, or you go on an instant date.

So there we go! A bunch of things to do if you're struggling with physically escalating in Daygame. It really is possible to get some amazing results if you can nail physical escalation in the daytime.

  • Matt