Dealing with friends who flake?

ThrowawayPUA · 2014-03-02T05:52:51+00:00

"I'll let you know how you can make it up to me." Then back off completely.

It is my general experience that it is a waste of time trying to convert flakes. Move on and find someone less flaky.

wohui · 2014-03-02T04:19:50+00:00

I usually give someone a couple of chances in a row, then after that I don't make any plans until they make a move.

For example, I have a pair of friends (actully, they're a couple now) whom I love dearly, but they're both horrific flakes. I'll call them F and J. So I make a plan (go see a movie, for example), they both say they'll be there. F texts me an hour before, saying he has too much work today, J texts me 5 minutes before (she's the worse of the two) saying she's gotten side tracked.

Okay, that's cool. Polite reply to each of them. Slightly dissapointed feeling, but stuff happens, we're all busy people.

Take two. Wohui organises a trip to catch up at the local pool at the end of summer. F texts me the day before saying something came up. J texts me as I am getting on the bus, which she was supposed to be getting on too, saying she has something else on.

Repeat dissapointed feeling.

Two weeks later, F says we should catch up. Yes, we should, but Wohui doesn't make any plans, he waits for F to organise something.

With these two in particular, we don't hang out as much now as we used to, but at least we do get to spend time together.

At one point (after the movie thing) I spoke to each of them about how their flaking made me feel etc. They were really receptive, and both super apologetic.

TL;DR? - You can be more patient with your friends than with a random girl. If they're actually your friends, they'll eventually make time.

Setsa · 2014-03-02T06:33:05+00:00

Do not place your sense of personal value on someone else's attention. It sounds like you are valuing your plans too much prematurely.

Title	Dealing with friends who flake?
Author	yobelddif
Upvotes	13
Comments	5
Date	March 2, 2014 3:33 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1zbhoj/dealing_with_friends_who_flake/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dealing-with-friends-who-flake.1293212 https://theredarchive.com/post/1293212

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