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sel9 · 2022-08-21T18:09:04+00:00

Have yourself a drink and enjoy yourself. You’re at a bar with 3 hot girls. Play it cool, play it calm. This is a bar not a playground. Don’t try too hard in being “fun”

spacemangoes · 2022-08-21T18:39:28+00:00

ok. What you need to do is stop thinking that the girl is hot. you need to believe these hot girls want you. Unfortunately, you need to be with these so-called hot girls to establish the belief system. Furthermore, to be with the hot girls you need to be with them in the first place. It's a catch-22.

Advice: Fake it till you make it and it gets easier.

ItIsICoachCal · 2022-08-21T19:28:42+00:00

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2022-08-21T18:58:23+00:00

Maybe your energy would have been high enough to do whatever you wanted to do. Maybe the girl you like has a thing for quiet and relaxed guys. You'll never know, until you try. Everything else is self-sabotage. Also, guy, who is super fun and cool, will get rejected too.

I really don't know how to flirt with them without seeming like I am trying too hard to get them...

You ended up doing nothing because of a theory you had in your head. What seems needy is subjective. The needy guy is still more successful, than the one, who does nothing, because he at least has a chance. Don't try to optimise your behaviour too much, no matter how you are, some people will like you and some don't. Not wanting to be needy should lead you to caring less, not doing less.

2022-08-21T20:07:36+00:00

If all attempts fail, then just roll a d20. The DM might ask you what your stat bonus is and just give it to you as a success if it was above the the required value.

iambabyshark · 2022-08-21T20:26:07+00:00

Flirt? No such thing. The moment you intentionally put yourself in the "flirting" position is when you out yourself as the buyer. Be aloof, be fun, and if you feel like you're running out of steam, excuse yourself. Think of fun conversations you can lead people down. Take notes on what works and what doesn't. Emotional highpoints are key, for example, what's their favorite memory growing up? What was their craziest night like? What's on their bucket list?

Things such as this are key to seduction. Talking about these intense emotional cues will bind them to yourself. Seduction is very much a science, one that takes practise and notes. You may not have been on your "A-game" that night, but learning from it is the most valuable thing

2022-08-21T20:27:42+00:00

Seems like you had fun...

I am terrible at seduction too, but I do not expect that to change over night...

I finally got out this weekend and had fun, it wasn't an amazing experience but it was nice, much nicer compared to what I usually do on Saturdays, in fact just sitting in a bar and sipping beer was my aim and it was already more fun than I ever have.. But it escalated somehow, I really got wasted, what a night...

I must say that talking with people in general is my aim, this is where the fun is I have noticed that many people too just come there to socialize mostly, if I brush away the high expectations I think I will not get too disappointed, my night would've been terrible if I thought I absolutely must get laid... Focus on how long can you keep doing it and still having some fun rather than dreaming about being an absolute success every night.

One thing, when it comes to flirt I catch myself doing wrong (and I am happy that I finally noticed it, but I still have to work on it) is either not giving your full attention to the person I talk to, or talking about myself more than necessary... Also I would say you should never be negative, people get out to have fun, so just a bit of self loathing may ruin everything for you, people don't just get out to talk, they seek entertainment in any possible form, if you give a girl a good evening she will probably be thankful, that is why you must listen and think, plan the entertainment....

When it comes to conversations just aim to find out what people want all the time by any means possible- not only in flirting, trust me this knowledge is a life saver...

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	30
Comments	11
Date	August 21, 2022 5:57 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wu5t67/being_flirty_in_a_pub_and_failing_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1251512 https://theredarchive.com/post/1251512

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