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[–]Technical_Hawk8547 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I’d say be careful. You could be heading towards a friendship “potentially”. You might turn into this girls emotional tampon and you never want to be that. I’d honestly wait until you’ve been more physical first before opening up more with her. I’d honestly probably wait until we had sex first before we “delve” deeper into things. Either way it’s up to you to decide when you want to open up or vice versa.
[–]Lonely_Ad9611 4 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Got it, id mainly want to listen to her, even if I do open up it won't be too serious, so i won't look like I'm trying to play a victim.
Thanks for the advice, also, I heard that I should be trying to get kiss every date, but I'd like to wait till the third date to know her more. So should I rush a bit or should i wait untill I'm more comfortable?
[–]juuchama 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
hi i’m a girl and please for the love of god do not listen to that person. if you genuinely want a meaningful relationship be open emotionally. i can’t express how important it is to be there for someone regardless of who they are. if you care about them it shouldn’t be hard.
i think a lot of people have never felt actual love before, or they’re incapable of it. if you’re looking for something purely physical then that advice can help you, but it’ll ruin your relationship. i promise. women like different things, but one thing we collectively appreciate is emotional intelligence. don’t rely on people you don’t know for relationship advice. ironic considering i’m giving you advice, but it’s better to get it from people who know you personally. you seem genuine, so i hope you’ll work it out.
tbh i came here to laugh at losers with no self awareness, but i’ve just made myself sad now. some of y’all seem sweet, just a little lost. asking a magic 8ball for advice would be better than doing it here <3 good luck
[–]Technical_Hawk8547 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t know how old you’re to be honest. My guess is early 20’s. Generally it’s best to try and close a date with a kiss if you can. Not sure why you’re so fixated on getting this girl to spill her guts to you and with you also wanting to do the same. Just let it come out naturally. She will tell you when she is ready. No need to coax or pry it out of her. You also should not be so focused on laying out all your baggage. That’s for much further down the road IMO.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
As long as you don’t present like a victim, or vulnerable or like a pathetic guy who has suffered a lot then it’s fine.
But if you start talking about your flaws, your bad experiences or that you don’t understand girls, etc… then you will only cause her to feel you are a loser even if she seems to understand and will treat you as a friend.
You cannot be vulnerable if you haven’t at the very least slept with her first
[–]Lonely_Ad9611 4 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
Oh no I'd never make myself a victim, all I would say is just a small flaw and ask her to talk more.
Also I've heard that I should be trying to kiss her on every date?
I would prefer to wait till the second date to know her more, but I'm pretty sure she would kiss me on our next date.
So should I wait till I'm more comfortable or just rush a bit?
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
No, not even a small flaw. Wait to discuss flaws until you have slept together first. And yes kissing is always a move you should make in every date.
But if you start telling her flaws no matter how little, you are actually shooting yourself in the foot.
Because women are always looking for potential red flags and flaws because they hate choosing the wrong guy.
If you talk about your flaws you are pretty much shooting your self in the foot because you give her exactly what she was looking for to avoid making a mistake and she will dry up.
You do not talk about flaws until you fuck first at the very least. And you also shouldn’t want to entice her to talk about her flaws neither.
Since we brought this topic up already texting, do you have any idea how to avoid talking about my flaws if she asks me to?
Should i just say I'd want to know you better before talking about these things?
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just joke (be humorous or sarcastic) to deflect the question, and don’t use texting other than to set up dates.
Don’t be so logical with her, don’t try to be rational with her. Based on what you are writing here it sounds like you are not being playful enough and are instead being too serious with her.
[–]Lonely_Ad96111 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
We've been texting for a week, all our texts are fun things we did recently and a lot of flirtiing, compliments, but that conversation was the only serious thing we talked about, so I'm glad I didn't open up and mess up yet :P
Thanks for your insight, helped a lot:)!
Makes sense, helped a lot, thanks!
[–]Thin_Protection5616 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, probably a mistake.
You she be someone she can forget her troubles with, not someone she wallows in them with.
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[–]Technical_Hawk8547 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lonely_Ad9611 [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]juuchama 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Technical_Hawk8547 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lonely_Ad9611 [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lonely_Ad9611 [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Lonely_Ad96111 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Lonely_Ad96111 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Thin_Protection5616 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link