Long story short, I'm 23M and I'm pretty terrified of escalating physically. I've been trying hard to get over this fear by touching people a lot when I'm talking to them (with intent and flow) and I've been getting pretty good at it. I'm actually a very social, very extraverted person, and I consider myself a pretty interesting guy. I also like to think I'm pretty okay at talking to women, and people in general (aka, I consider myself very much a people person).
The thing is, when it comes to the actual, non platonic, arm around her, leg touch thing I feel pretty weird with it. It's so bad that yesterday I went out with a really cute girl who is clearly interested in me, and when the moment started to become more romantic, I did my best to overcome this fear of escalating, said some cringy bullshit, and held her hand. She was fine with it, she held it back, and I'm sure the whole thing was fine. After that, I explained to her my fear and how uncomfortable I am with these things, and how I wished so bad I was better.
Anyway, I did it, right? Kinda? I took a step in overcoming a deep rooted, probably trauma caused fear I have. So why don't I feel any good about myself? Why don't I feel proud of taking that step? The only thing I can really feel is disgust towards myself. I feel like it was forced, I feel like I was cringy as fuck, and everytime I remember what I did yesterday, I cringe. HARD. I can't stop thinking of how awkward it was, and how unnatural I am with these things.
In my understanding of seduction, it's a whole different thing getting a girl to like you and want to date you (romantic attraction), and getting a girl to really wanna jump your bones (sexual attraction).
I feel pretty okay about the former, but I feel absolutely retarded and disgusting about the latter (I know guys, I'm trying to be nicer to myself). I feel interesting enough to get girls (who are actually cool, and I actually wanna know them better) to have a date with me, and truly be engaged with me and connect, but I'll just get friendzoned all of the time because I can't escalate. I can't feel good about escalating, and they'll just lose interest because we're not touching, not kissing, not anything.
It's at a point where I don't even want to set up another date with the girl (and, again, she's clearly very interested) because I don't wanna show my face and I'm sure I won't have the balls to escalate again and go through this cringyness and awkwardness again, so what's the point? She'll just get bored of me because we're not getting physical.
I'm fairly certain this whole issue I'm overblowing is caused by trauma, and poor self worth, so, yeah. The only fix is CBT right? Then why do I feel worse about things after taking a step? Why do I feel like I don't want to take another step? Thanks for reading this whole thing.

TLDR: I'm letting this physical escalation thing really affect my (already turbulent) confidence with women, and I'm trying to get better at it, but it just feels so hard, and so pointless.