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[–]Travis_Varga 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You don’t have to explain to be honest. If you were rude, you could apologize and then leave it at that. Too much information isn’t good, like if some stranger comes up to you and starts talking about their deepest hopes and dreams or their mom’s death.
From what you’ve said, you still have a chance.
[–]No_Fee_5301 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Explaining your weird behaviour is cause you have anxiety is not the same as telling your life story. Otherwise she might assume he’s just a weirdo or rude - which is not a good look and even worse.
[–]NastyMonkeyKing -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn't explain
If you're a confident man who does things with good intentions then it's fine. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone.
It shows strength and confidence. And constantly explaining yourself shows the opposite.
Just try again.
[–]No_Fee_5301 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
This is how a man would see it, not a woman. If your intention is to affect men then that’s fine, but if your intention is to attract women then you need to start considering how women think. You can’t appeal to women by thinking about how you’d appeal to a man.
[–]NastyMonkeyKing -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Nope. Fuck all that.
Women are attracted to men. Not men who want to have girls like what they say.
I used to think like that. It's stupid.
You don't need to explain yourself. As an adult. Not just as a male. But as an adult. If you have confidence and you know you're not just being a dick you never have to explain yourself. Except to your close friends who sometimes deserve an explanation. Beyond that, no.
You and I are adults. You don't have to explain yourself. I don't have to explain myself.
Im not trying to appeal to women. I'm trying to be myself.
And there is a certain amount of women that will be attracted to a man who wants to be himself above everything else. And they'll find me, or I'll find them.
It doesn't matter. It will happen either way.
[–]No_Fee_5301 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Nobody said anything about men having to agree with anything but if you can’t be respectful to women and you expect them to want you and give you whatever you want when you bring them zero value, then you’re delusional. You wouldn’t be going after women if they gave you no value and that’s why women don’t go after guys if they think give them no value either.
Men can be men without being dicks. I don’t know why so many men insist on being dicks and claim that’s a masculine trait and the only way to be a man but then at the same time will complain when women start seeing masculine traits as negative because men are labelling toxic traits as ‘masculine’ all the time.
There’s nothing wrong with explaining yourself and there’s nothing offensive about or worth getting touchy over just suggesting it’s a wise thing to do given how she’s just gonna make assumptions about you if you don’t. If you don’t want to explain yourself then just don’t - nobody’s forcing you. Relax.
I never said you needed to explain yourself. Nobody needs to explain their actions but I’m just saying that you can’t be shocked and annoyed when she comes up with her own conclusions and assumptions for why you behave that way. People assume shit about everyone else all the time.
That’s true. Being yourself is the best way to go about it - that way it’ll weed out everyone who’s not compatible or attracted to your personality.
[–]NastyMonkeyKing 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
There's a large gap between being a dick and not explaining yourself. I never said to be a dick. And I never said to be disrespectful. And I'm not. But I used to explain myself all the time, and for what. Now im more intriguing because they want to know. Also I literally don't understand why you brought the value hypothetical up. I don't disagree with it, but what does it have to do here. Far assumption to say I'm being disrespectful and have no value so I must be missing your point.
And of course they will make assumptions. And people who have the courage to talk to me about it will. They'll bring up the assumption or just ask. And anyone who reads me so wrong they think there is nothing underneath the hood is is socially inept that I don't have time for them anyways. I can't be explaining nuances all the time and if you can't see them, then you're socially too immature for me. So it's weeding out people that waste my time.
[–]No_Fee_5301 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The “fuck all that” part as excessively aggressive, emotional. Have you asked women if that’s what they want or are you assuming that’s what they want because you think that’s what would appeal to them and what makes a man more masculine?
Not explaining yourself isn’t being a dick, no. Unless you’d say to them “I’m not gonna explain myself to you!” If they ask what was wrong.
What’s your definition of ‘thinking nothing is under the hood’ though? Everyone would have a different idea of what that is because everyone is different.
[–]NastyMonkeyKing 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Let me rephrase. I'm doing it because it's the man I want to be.
I can explain myself if people specifically ask me too. I'm saying I almost never offer up explanations anymore.
And basically by that I meant If they think I'm just how I act on the outside, not noticing any nuance of what im doing, or if they misjudge me so poorly. than they are a poor judge of character with low social skills. And as (ill be honest rn) medium value male i don't have time to deal with people who are still that immature.
[–]thedreamkillers 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
give it another go, it's worth the effort if she seemed interested
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[–]Travis_Varga 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]No_Fee_5301 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NastyMonkeyKing -1 points0 points1 point (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]No_Fee_5301 -1 points0 points1 point (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]NastyMonkeyKing -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]No_Fee_5301 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]NastyMonkeyKing 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]No_Fee_5301 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NastyMonkeyKing 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thedreamkillers 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link