Being mediocre is killing me

2022-04-21T15:39:04+00:00

To me the most important thing you've said here is the lack of hobbies. A good hobby can have both social and non-social benefits. Personally, my biggest hobby at the moment is climbing, which gives benefits for health, personal challenge/development, and also a good means to be social and meet people. It is also something I can go and do when I'm in a bad mood and feel much better afterwards.

In your shoes, I should look for a hobby to occupy my time, and see if that helps with my social life as a side effect. After that, if my social life was still falling short of what I wanted I would try dealing with that more directly by going to social events (e.g. board game meetups are something I've done in the past) or various forms of dating (e.g. tinder)

Dodechaedron · 2022-04-21T16:50:27+00:00

1) First problem: "... I am a bit shy".

2) " ... I do know some people here too but I can't say I have a real social circle even if once or twice a month I get to clubs and bars with them"... not enough effort.

3) " ...I do study in university when I can (study rooms) but mostly on my own. " : studying is obviously a priority and if alone is more productive, then yes, otherwise, no.

4) " ... I used to be the one who makes invitations and make plans in groups but then I stopped": why?.

5) "I'm hating this mediocre lifestyle": this is a recipe for depression. Super high expectations, inevitably frustrated.

6) "I want ...I want ... I want..." what are you prepared to sow, in order to reap all of that?

7) "Hobbys? I had some in the past, now zero": not good. Hobbies are necessary for your mental health.

8) "Speaking of ladies I really need to do something": have you considered joining activities?

9) "What can I do? What am I not seeing here? ": you have to put effort into being social and being warm and friendly, something that obviously is not your instinct.

10) "...forcing things just kills your soul": you are probably introverted and social interaction drains your energy, instead of exciting you. Beware of depression, it's serious.

Liberaler · 2022-04-21T17:18:01+00:00

I don't know you, but from reading between the lines, I would give the following diagnosis:

Problem 1: You are to slick.

Look more inside you, to find out who you are and what you stand for. Express that without hesitation. To click with people you need some edges and be a little polarising, have profile. Find out what your edges are by looking into yourself. Being polarising feels a little risky, but that is what will make you feel alive and make you interesting to others.

Problem 2: You are too much in your head an have a big ego (in a bad way)

You are like "don't give this advice, don't give me that advice. I've done that." Dude, you are in your early twenties, you don't have that much life expirience. You can't know, what will happen, when you invite some people or approach people. No one can know, because it's different every time. Get out of your head an be a bit more playful! Every interaction can show you something new and comes with new opportunities. It's only always the same, when you always act the same way, because you are to much in your head and ego obsessed.

Noirena · 2022-04-21T20:17:27+00:00

Sounds like its in your head mostly. Your mediocre is not considered mediocre to others. Im in Uni right now and just about to finish my first year and I can say its super difficult to make friends because like you said, everyone has their social groups and are pretty closed off to making close friends. Its sort of just a fact you must accept as you are not the only one facing that issue. Get more hobbies and involved with more things so you can meet more people and possibly come across the chance of finding a close friend group. You probably won't, but you'll gain experiences and it will be better than nothing. Try and stop being so materialistic and enjoy things without labeling them as "mediocre" or acknowledging how safety you can talk with everyone. Coming from one over thinker to another, try not to think about it too much and enjoy the present.

hagakurejunkie · 2022-04-22T00:17:48+00:00

Oh so sorry Prince Average, let me make sure that the "Amazing Train" puts in a new stop at your house.

Dude you have to make your life yourself. Absolutely nobody cares if you die a mediocre person who spend most of his life jerking off in his basement.

You obviously suck at talking to people so I would say go figure out how to do that. I was so bored with your whining, I didn't even read the second half of your rant.

You're not a woman, you can't just complain and make demands until a simp shows up to fix everything. You're a man, you have to change your own destiny.

Title	Being mediocre is killing me
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	7
Date	April 21, 2022 3:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/u8q8ue/being_mediocre_is_killing_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/being-mediocre-is-killing-me.1261521 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261521

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