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[–]bluefox2456 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
In my personal opinion "classic" sales techniques don't work
If you want to become more fluid with your social skills, then honestly the best advice it so just get into more social situations
Social skills are a soft skill, this means that even the most effective techniques may not work sometimes this is just something you have to accept
once you get over that then you may become more confident in knowing that rejection is part of the territory (I did anyway)
In summary: put yourself out there more and be ok with failure, after you have talked to 100 strangers reconvene here and we will then help you more
Side note. Not only was I the most introverted/shy person I know even to this day, but I've also talked to 100 people in a single day, best of luck!
[–]OkLeek8598 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
i hear this advise a lot. i’ve never implemented it to be honest. i’ve convinced myself there’s something wrong with my brain — like i can’t think quickly on my feet… i’m not necessarily shy but i am reserved… think i kinda lack confidence because because of failures in the past..
did you see any improvements in how quick you were on your feet? not running out of things to say?
[–]bluefox2456 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Their is nothing wrong with your brain, in fact you may just analyze things too much, but this is a good thing in the right circumstances, now when it comes to social skills this may hold you back HOWEVER this ability will alow you to radically improve if your willing to put yourself through the ringer
It's not that you don't think on your feet your brain is just as fast as anyone else's, but you "perceive yourself" to be "bad" at social situations. In order to change this you have to attack your own self-image aka prove to yourself that your not that person anymore aka socialize more
Look back on those past failures. Did you learn from them? If you did then you didn't fail because you learned something, if I remember Thomas Edison when asked about his thousand failures before he invented the light bulb he said he didn't fail because he learned, you need to adopt this mindset, with success you only need to be right once and people will think of you as a God all the past failures don't matter after that
Now to answer your question yes I did, now my journey has been a slow progression, I believe people can accomplish it faster than me, if you need resources I can give you my book list but beware of thinking your progressing just because your learning, the actual skill is different than your theory of the skill, this advice is spasific to this field
I hope this helps
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How long have you been doing this?
[–]OkLeek8598 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
doing what? selling? ~2 years
[–]jobbo321 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
A fluid conversation means nothing more than finding relatable things and then adding onto that.
By contrast, an awkward conversation is asking questions and simply answering them, like a robot.
So when you're talking with someone, start by finding a conversation subject that is relatable to you so that you can add stuff. If you just went on a really nice vacation, sneakily ask them what they planned for holidays. If you went to the best bar in town, ask them about what did they did in the weekend.
As soon as they throw the ball into your court, you can tell your cool story which'll lead into sub-stories and more sub-storie, all while the other party is adding sub-stories of their own experience as well. This bridges into other conversation subjects and voila, a fluid conversation.
Note that this'll always require the other party to help you out. If the other party doesn't want a fluid conversation you won't get one.
as a framework this makes sense, and i apply it regularly… but there’s still usually something missing… still awkwardness despite not following a strict q&a framework
and i really appreciate the advice. it’s sound and i’m not refusing to accept. but let know what you think about this…
i’m bipolar, and during a recent mild manic episode of mine, my ability to converse was effortless… yeah i talked a bit more than i needed to it, but the biggest difference that it was incredibly easy for me to just SPEAK. i could think faster and thus verbalize faster, so it made for smoother conversation… plus i was more fun and lively so that likely added to it.
there’s certain aspects of “fluid conversation” that lie outside of how-tos and conventional frameworks… and i’ve been trying to figure out how to apply them for forever to no avail
[–]mightymite88 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Maybe you dont understand what it is that you're selling on a date you're selling a fun experience. You're selling passion.
[–]OkLeek8598 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
completely agree.
how do you sell fun when you aren’t? lol
[–]MudFlaky 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
There's really no solution to improving your social skills besides putting yourself in social situations over and over until you eventually find your way
thank you. i think it might be a hardware issue with me. i’ve exposed myself to social situations my entire life. if your computer’s hardware is old, you can’t really implement new software… that’s how i feel here.
[–]MudFlaky 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's the "can't teach an old dog new tricks" mentality but we aren't dogs lol we are smarter and control our own destiny in a way.
It's like a skinny kid who wants to get jacked in the gym. Probably been eating small portions, doesn't even know proper form. Lots of changes and adjustments to be made. Hard? Yes. Impossible? No.
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[–]bluefox2456 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]OkLeek8598 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bluefox2456 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]OkLeek8598 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jobbo321 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]OkLeek8598 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mightymite88 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]OkLeek8598 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MudFlaky 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]OkLeek8598 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MudFlaky 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link