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[–]agileipa 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Okay I am sure this is going to get downvoted a million times. But there is so so much misinformation about sti s these days it’s insane. Let’s talk about the scary sti first, the ones with no cure. HIV and herpes. (There is no test for hpv for men) the odds of a heterosexual male having hiv is something like.000004%. Look it up on cdc. Herpes simplex being transmitted without an open sore is very small, almost nil. So if you already gave him head and he didn’t have any sores or signs of an sti then it’s not likely he will have one. The other types are bacterial and easy curable with medicine or pills. Now our society doesn’t like to talk about this and it’s all about wearing a condom and getting tested. Which is fine I just got tested. My dr asked if I have ever had gay sex in any form, needles, any sores or scabs or burning pee. Any symptoms or anything with my genitalia? I answered all no. He said yeah the likelihood of an sti is very very small but let’s get you tested so you know.
I pretty much knew all that going in, I have a vasectomy so pregnancy is not an issue but one of my fwb really wanted me to get tested before we have unprotected sex. Obviously It’s her body and her choice so I am doing it for her but I just which some of the truth would come out and more realistic expectations on how you transmit sti s.
Back to the original post, since you already had oral sex with him you have exposed yourself to any sti you could get. This is what is frustrating, women think giving oral sex is safer than vaginal sex. But the truth is if a man has an sti you’re going to know really fucking fast and the odd of him having zero symptoms is also very small. I am not saying everyone should be having unprotected sex I am just simply saying if pregnancy is not a concern and your partner has zero symptoms you’re at low risk.
[–]baebeeboy1 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Asking about std's should never be frowned upon. I dont think it really kills the mood either, unless hes got somthing to hide. Infact, if a girl asked me questions about my sexual history, i would think she expects or wants sex with me in the near future. If he starts getting wierd about this, Ask yourself do really wanna bang someone that isnt capable of being honest about std's?
Im deathly scared of std's and never fuck raw unless they bring me a recent negative test result. I will never trust someone I just met for a week lol. I had to turn down someone bc they were being absolutely immature about me asking for both of us to do an std check before we have unprotected sex.
[–]agileipa 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What are you deathly scared of? Women cannot transmit hiv to men. Men get hiv from unprotected gay sex with another person and they typically develop symptoms within 10 days. Women typically get hiv from needles or their sexual partner having unprotected gay sex on the side and then having sex with her. Herpes simplex has 3 strains. One strain is super common. 3/4 of the population has it but it’s generally only present orally (cold sores) that strain can be on your genitalia but it’s uncommon and would typically be from someone going down on you with an active open sore. The next strain is what you typically hear about and is genitalia only and not very common at all. The third strain is from high school wrestling mats or some super rare situations.
So besides those two. Anything else is curable with pills or antibiotics. So What are you so deeply scared of ? Probably your high school sex ed class showing you graphic photos of genitalia with warts and hpv all over.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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I mean go get tested sure. It’s easy and free. Urine sample and blood. If you’re doing everything it’s a lot of blood. Don’t be surprised when your dr discourage the herpes test. I had to pressure him to give it to me. I asked why not? He said it’s a pointless test. If you have herpes you already know it so a positive test doesn’t change the outcome. I said well this hot girl won’t fuck me until I have it so just do it. He laughed and said okay. But again to my previous posts. Sti have symptoms and yes you can transmit them and not show symptoms which is why we are in this everyone freak out phase but seriously it’s not a huge thing. You typically see sti breakouts in groups where lots and lots of people are having multiple partners over a small amount of time and symptoms develop later on these are typically bacteria sti and cleared up quickly. Think of a festival or college dorms. So if you or your partner are not out there fucking constantly the odds of a unsymptomatic sti transmission are rare.
[–]iceking123[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Are all you guys talking about sex? Because men usually have a main goal and show it from the start and will try to get what they want as soon as they meet you. If you trust him and he’s told you he doesn’t have a lot of sex then why not. You’re always taking a chance when you have unprotected sex specially this early of knowing him. You already gave him head so why not just have fun with him.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]iceking123[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Well from what you said you gave him head the first time you hanged out again so he probably thinks you’re trying to have fun and that’s not bad just don’t over romanticize the relationship. As far you and him know y’all are just having fun with no real expectations. From what it sounds like this is natural to him because woman give it up so easy to him, he knows he can get you whenever he wants, men will put you in a category and if he only see’s you as a friend he can fuck, fucking him raw isn’t going to change his opinion on you. Just have fun and keep talking to other guys. Finding a relationship is a numbers game, you have to know your value and how a guy comes at you and their intentions. You could’ve been mutual friends from 10 years ago but that doesn’t mean you’re automatically in the “I wanna be in a relationship with her” category. If I were you I would just have protected sex the first couple of times and see how he reacts, if he says “no I don’t wanna do that, I wanna do it raw” then you know what he was after with you.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]iceking123[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Then just ask him if he’s clean, it’s not gonna stop him from having sex with you. I would do it in person though and see how he reacts
[–]iceking123[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I usually ask her if she’s clean before sex but I usually have a condom. I don’t raw sex unless I really know her
[–]ChoppedBelAir 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You come out and say it before the mood even starts. Like next time the two of you are texting to set plans just ask
[–]freespirit1963TJ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Very simple, don't wait until you are on the brink of sex to bring it up. I would approach it as, I want to make sure we are being upfront with each other. We don't know all of what is out there. Then lead into the conversation. I see a couple of folks who claim that the chances of getting an STD are very small. That is playing Russian roulette and quite ignorant. There are a segment of people who are carrier's of the Herpes virus that don't have outward symptoms. I know a guy that got it in the service, he had outward symptoms once in like 1985. He figured it was warts and it went away. It was almost 30 years later that he had outward symptoms again. Viruses can lie dormant in people for many, many years. A good example is shingles that older people get. That is caused by the resurfacing of the virus that causes chicken pox. I've had the talk with a number of partner's and never once scared any of them off.
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[–]agileipa 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]baebeeboy1 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]agileipa 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]agileipa 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]iceking123[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]iceking123[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]iceking123[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]iceking123[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ChoppedBelAir 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]freespirit1963TJ 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link